Noooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Say it ain't so!!!!!!!!!!!! How could this happen! *sob*

To be, or not to be...

Sensible, that is. *grin*

I just sold some stock. I know the responsible, grown-up thing to do, considering how much debt I'm in, would be to use every bit of this money to pay towards my credit cards. I will be able to completely pay off one, and could pay a nice chunk off of another one. I'm going to have to use this to pay some of my regular bills because there's just not enough paycheck to go around. But I sooooo want to get another tattoo. I am so tempted to take $200 of this money to do that. And I know it would be totally irresponsible of me to do this. I mean, I'm going to have my home phone cut off and am considering having the cable and internet shut off, too, to help ease the financial situation. Gawd, I hate being an adult sometimes.

I'm taking a week's vacation in June, and then another week in July. And it's going to totally suck because I'm not going to be able to do anything. I'm going to Arkansas the week in July because it's arkieboy's birthday, and I've taken that particular week off ever since he was born. I wanted him to come up here for one of the weeks, but he doesn't want to. So, Yay! I'll be spending a week with no a/c, no internet, no cable, and a minimum of 30 miles away from anything to do. I just hope the gas prices don't get any worse than what they are now, but I'm sure they will.

I went to the bowling alley bar last night after work. I had a new drink, but Dana couldn't remember the name of it, so if I ever go somewhere else, I won't know what to order!!! It has Parrot Bay, amaretto, cranberry juice, and pineapple juice in it. Do any of you know the name of this drink? And I am so proud of myself! While I was sitting at the bar, I actually started a conversation with the man sitting next to me. He had several tattoos, and I asked him what one was, because I really couldn't tell. So we chatted about tatts for a little while. I NEVER do that, I never start a converstation with a stranger, I'm usually too shy and self-conscious. So, that's a big deal for me.

Weekend quiz time

You Are a Blueberry Margarita

Honestly, there's no one quite like you. And believe it or not, most people think that's a bad thing! You're open, wild, friendly, wacky, and tons of fun. You have a big personality... and a big heart.

What Flavor Margarita Are You?

Swiped from HD

Your Five Variable Love Profile

Propensity for Monogamy: Your propensity for monogamy is medium. In general, you prefer to have only one love interest. But it's hard for you to stay devoted for too long! There's too much eye candy to keep you from wandering. Experience Level: Your experience level is medium. You probably have had a couple significant loves. And you may have even had your heart broken. But you haven't really dated a wide variety of people. Dominance: Your dominance is low. This doesn't mean you're a doormat, just balanced. You know a relationship is not about getting your way. And you love to give your sweetie a lot of freedom. Cynicism: Your cynicism is low. You are an eternal optimist when it comes to love and romance. No matter how many times you've been hurt - you're never bitter. You believe in one true love, your perfect soulmate. And if you haven't found true love yet, you know you will soon. Independence: Your independence is medium. In relationships, you need both "me time" and "we time." You usually find it easy to be part of a couple. But occasionally you start to feel a little smothered.

The Five Variable Love Test

Wait, what?

I don't know if I was just naive/oblivious at first, or overly suspicious later. I had received a *smile* from this guy on the dating site. I read his profile, and while it didn't wow me, he seemed nice, and I got a chuckle from some of his answers. So, a couple of *smiles* back and forth, then he emails me. I email back, and I comment on his profile. First, let me show the part of his profile I referenced:


Describe some of the most important things in your life:
chocolate
Describe your perfect day:
eating chocolate
One final thing I'd like to mention...
i like chocolate

So, I make the comment: I thought to myself, any man who seems to like chocolate as much as you do is probably someone I would like to get to know.

He replies back: hi, id love to share my chocolate with you, do you like english chocolat,

All of a sudden, I'm not so sure we're talking about chocolate. I haven't replied back, because I'm not sure we're on the same page. How do you ask someone if they're using code without sounding overly suspicious and paranoid? Or do you keep carrying on the conversation, and end up being overly naive?

*************************************************

Last week, something was said to me that really hurt my feelings. I know sometimes I can be over-sensitive, but I think this really crossed the line. My boss's husband works for the company, too. He and I go back and forth with the insults, etc all the time. I'm forever flipping him off, and telling him to "bite me". Well, we were talking about something, and he said something about how bad it is that our lives have no more meaning than I know what value codes go in form locator 43 (which is not correct, value codes go in FL 39-41, but that's neither here nor there), and he knows, well, whatever the hell it is he does. *grin* Anyway, I said thanks for telling me my life is meaningless. The next day, my boss was talking about how the other co-workers had cleared out the cubicle of the woman who just left. I said something about not getting anything. So, boss's hubby makes a crack about when I commit suicide, he wants my radio. When I commit suicide? Oh, yeah! That is sooooooo funny! NOT. I refused to speak to him the next day. Would not say a word. Would have kept it up longer, but something work related came up, and I had to talk to him. I think people that know me IRL, because I'm so sarcastic most of the time and pretty much anti-social, forget that I actually have feelings.

*******************************************

I had said something to my son about finances being pretty tight, and he suggested that I take him and we just leave the country, change our names and start over. Of course, I told him that it was out of the question, and it would be very irresponsible. But you know, sometimes the thought of just running away and starting anew is tempting. *shrugs*

*temper tantrum*

(Monsty, you (and any others who find foul language offensive) may not want to read this. )


I hate my fucking computer!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hate it, hate it, hate it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *kicks computer*

My computer has a CD drive, and a DVD drive. Supposedly, a person could burn CD's and DVD's with this computer. Well, I can burn the CD's but I cannot burn a fucking video onto the DVD. This is pissing me off!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Mother fucking computer! I fucking hate it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! First I bought a damn 25-pack of DVD+R. Tried to burn a video, and kept getting a message telling me to put a dvd in the drive. Well, the fucking disc was already there, dammit!!!! I ask one of the IT guys from work for any suggestions, and he said that it may have to do with the type of disc - that there are DVD+R and DVD-R. So, today I go and buy the smallest pack I can find (3) of a DVD-RW. It still won't fucking burn the damn fucking video, and tells me to put a disc in the fucking drive, but it's already fucking there!!!!!! FUCK, FUCK, FUCK!!!!! Why is this damn thing not fucking working for me???
*screams*

My pegasus collection

(Click on the pictures for a larger view)
These were the beginning of my collection:

My brother and SIL had sent me money for either Christmas or my birthday one year, and I decided to buy the male figure pictured here. Then, because I have to everything in a series, I kept going back until I had them all.

These two are pewter, and a lot smaller than they appear in the picture. I bought the little one at the Ren. festival last year.


These two cross collections. They are both musical, and as you can see, the one is also a waterglobe.


Then I have these. I really don't collect stuffed animals, but I couldn't resist these.

collections

What do you collect? What made you start collecting those things? When adding to your collection, do you have a certain mental checklist of criteria that the item must meet? How many things do you have to have, before it's a "collection"?

I have a few collections. I collect cookbooks, I guess you could say I collect paperback romances, because I keep almost all of those that I buy, I also collect Pegasus items, wolf figurines, waterglobes and music boxes, and I have recently started collecting shot glasses.

This is what I have so far in my shot glass collection:



The first one (going left to right) is from BB King's in Memphis, when I went to the Memphis in May music festival last year, and met Asrai. Next is the one I picked up in Florida last year, when I went on a business trip. The third and fifth ones are from my recent trip to Texas, which was a business trip and a peep meet. The fourth one was given to me by Doomie. It says "I don't care if he calls or not". The last one is from my home state of Arkansas. On the back, it has 5 different level markers, and the directions. 1. Get favorite beverage. 2. Fill to level of favorite bloodsucker (beginning with Used car salesman, then lawyer, ex-wife, dracula, and ending at the top with Arkansas Skeeter). 3. SUCK IT DRY!

Maybe for another post, I'll do one of my other collections. If anyone's interested in seeing them, that is.

.

I seem to have lost some of my sense of touch in my hands. Mostly my right hand. I can't really feel things in the fingertips of my first two fingers. I thought the loss was only in the fingertips until yesterday. I had went to the "Main Street Festival" yesterday, and had gotten something to eat from one of the food vendors. It was wrapped in foil and very hot. I was holding it and gradually became aware that it was burning my hand. Not like a serious burn, but it scared me that it took a minute or so for me to be aware of the burning feeling. Like it had to get past the first layer of skin for me to feel it. Or maybe my nerves are just slow in relaying the information? I don't know, but it worries me. I wonder if it's related to diabetes, or if this is something else. I haven't been taking my diabetes medicine like I'm supposed to, and I've quit monitoring my diet like I need to be doing. But I checked my FBS this morning, and it was only 107. According to the American Diabetes Association's website, that is still just "pre-diabetes".

Fuck this shit.

I feel like I'm back in fucking high school. People whispering behind everyone's back, trying to start shit. I didn't need this kind of shit when I was 16, and I don't fucking need it now.

I don't always state my true opinion out in the open, because as much as I may wish otherwise, I'm too insecure to do so. So, I keep it to myself for the most part, and will occasionally give voice to it to maybe one other person. I try to go by the saying of "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything."

I don't see the point in attacking people, anonymously or otherwise. Truthfully, life's too short to deal with assholes. They're not fucking worth it.

If I find someone's lifestyle and choices either offensive or just not to my liking, I distance myself from them as much as I can. Maybe I have the "head in the sand" outlook too much, but that's how I am. I don't tell people I disagree with their life, because it's their life to live how they see fit. *shrugs* As long as you're not infringing on my life, I don't really give a fuck what you do. I'm very self-centered like that.

And I am judgemental. I'll admit it. I know it's not my place to judge, but I do it anyway in some instances. In my opinion, if someone says they are not judgemental, ever, I think they're full of shit.

I wish I was ballsy enough to be more honest, but even now, typing this, I'm wavering between posting this, or moving it to my private blog, or deleting it all together.

But for now, I think I will post it. And hell, I'll leave the comments open the way I always have - blogger, other, or anonymous.

Just a quick note

My home computer is effed up, and it's not letting me read a lot of the blogs or OT. Work computer is fine, but they expect me to use it for work.

Miss you guys, and hope to get my home PC fixed soon so I can be back online in the evenings! *SMOOCH*

From "Tuesday is Chooseday"

Would you rather:

1. be stuck beside somebody with horrible body odor on a crowded subway car for 10 stops OR against someone with an obvious erection on a long elevator ride?

2. find out your parents kidnapped you when you were a baby and raised you as their own OR find out you had a twin that died at birth that they never told you about?

3. find out now that you will die exactly on your 70th birthday OR never know?

4. have regular encounters with aliens and not have any proof OR have your best friend be invisible?

Five on Friday meme

1. What are your favorite ethnic/regional cuisines (Italian, Mexican, Thai, etc.)?

2. When visit a restaurant serving that kind of food, what do you generally order?

3. Which ethnic food or dish is your favorite to make yourself?

4. If you could travel to one country or region, just to experience the food, where would you go?

5. Where would you not want to go because of the food?

My answers:
1. Thai and Mexican
2. For thai, it's always Khaeng Phed (Red Curry), with chicken and hot, unless I'm feeling brave, then I go with native. For Mexican, it depends on the restaurant. I love Chili Rellenos, but there is only one restaurant here that makes them the way I like them.
3. I'm not much of a cook, so I would have to wimp out, and say tacos.
4. Hmmm, I think Italy.
5. Vietnam. I am basing this on one visit to a Vietnamese restaurant here.

Weekend quizzes

You Are a Blue Flower

A blue flower tends to represent peace, openness, and balance. At times, you are very delicate like a cornflower. And at other times, you are wise like an iris. And more than you wish, you're a little cold, like a blue hydrangea.

What Color Flower Are You?

You Have Low Self Esteem 56% of the Time

While you sometimes feel good about yourself, you tend to struggle a little with self esteem issues. It's not about changing who you are, it's about accepting your faults. You just need to be less critical and demanding of yourself!

How is Your Self Esteem?

You Are Apple Red

You're never one to take life too seriously, and because of it, you're a ton of fun. And although you have a great sense of humor, you are never superficial. Deep and caring, you do like to get to the core of people - to understand them well. However, any probing you do is light hearted and fun, sometimes causing people to misjudge you.

What Color Red Are You?

You Are Sunrise

You enjoy living a slow, fulfilling life. You enjoy living every moment, no matter how ordinary. You are a person of reflection and meditation. You start and end every day by looking inward. Caring and giving, you enjoy making people happy. You're often cooking for friends or buying them gifts. All in all, you know how to love life for what it is - not for how it should be.

What Time Of Day Are You?

6 weird things meme

1. I am tongue-tied. *waves to Lightsy* I did not know this until I was 38. I just thought I had a short tongue and that's why I couldn't stick my toungue out very far.

2. I always go to the last stall when I use a public bathroom (if there is not a line). If it is already occupied, then I try to choose one that the ones on either side are unoccupied.

3. My wisdom teeth never came in. In addition, one of my other molars never came in.

4. I don't like for my food to touch other food on my plate.

5. I found my first gray hair when I was 16.

6. I can't stand to be touched by someone else's feet.

If there is anyone else who hasn't been tagged, consider yourself tagged.

OK, so the consensus is Carey is funny (and funny looking). So, I will concur that Carey is funny, except for one particular remark. And I still say that was NOT funny.

Went to Arkansas this weekend to see arkieboy and my parents. *sticks tongue out* Is my tongue bloody? I was biting it all weekend. I swear. My dad is so childish sometimes. He and arkieboy are both so, so, so.... UGH! that's what they are. Neither one of them can just shut up, and let the other have the last word, and about some of the most stupid stuff. I can't very well tell my dad to STFU. So, I bite my tongue.

Arkieboy and I went to see the movie, "Take the Lead". I was quite clever in getting arkieboy to go see that one. I was going to let him choose a movie, but when we got to the cinema (at 2:35), all the movies had already started. The next showing wasn't until 6:45. We went to a bookstore, Dairy Queen and to Wal-Mart, and killed time until 6:15. When we got there, the two starting at 6:45 were Take the Lead and Scary Movie 4. I told him we could either see TTL, or go home because I didn't want to see SM4 (and really, he didn't either), and I was not waiting around for another 30 minutes to see something else. He didn't like that too much. I pointed out that when we went to see First Descent (in December, I think), I didn't want to see that movie, but I went ahead and went with his choice. He replied that I ended up liking it. Which was just the opening I needed, and so I said, "And maybe it will work out that way this time, too". What could he say to that? Nothing, that's what. *grin* And he liked the movie. I asked him afterwards what he thought, and he wouldn't answer me. If he had hated it, he would have been sure to voice that.

Friday night, I went bowling instead of heading to Arkansas after work - the league was having a free night. Afterwards, 3 of us went into the bar. Some guy bought me a drink. He was soooooooooooooooooo not my type.

It's a blog poll

(That's P-O-L-L, not P-O-L-E)

Carey and I were having a discussion the other day, and continued it today. The question is, "Is Carey funny?"

quick update

I sent the guy an email yesterday to let him know I just didn't think we were a good match. He thanked me for my honesty, and it's done.

I sent an email to Niall, just to say hi, haven't heard back from him. *shrugs*

Still haven't contacted my friend that I haven't spoken to in a while. Things are just crazy at work, and I'm going to be out of town this weekend, but hope to get in touch with her next week.

Haven't said anything to the friend that I feel that we're drifting apart. I've talked to her, but just didn't mention how I was feeling.

Quiz time

Thought of MTW when I saw this one:

You Are 40% Selfish

In general, you are a very giving person who treats others very well. But at times, you insist on getting your way - when it matters most to you.

How Selfish Are You?

OK, I must have lied to myself on this one:

You Are a Creative Cook

Your cooking is unusual, inspired, and definitely one of a kind. People love your unique style, but you've had your share of kitchen flops. You have the makings of a cult chef. You may not cook at the Four Seasons, but you could have your own little funky cafe in San Francisco!

Are You A Good Cook?

Uh oh:

Your Famous Last Words Will Be:

"I can pass this guy."

What Will Your Famous Last Words Be?

Hmmmm,

Your Lucky Underwear is Yellow

You're an extremely happy, laid back, fun soul. And your lucky yellow underwear can help you get even more out of life. In life, you rather play than work. You're apt to quit any task that doesn't nourish your creativity and inner child. Sometimes your drive for freedom hinders your quality of life. You find it impossible to do anything unpleasant. If you want to have responsibilities and still have fun, put on your yellow underpants. They'll help you make a party out of the most mundane tasks.

What Color Is Your Lucky Underwear?

Proud of my son, angry with the ex

My ex is an ass, and my son is growing up, and becoming a man.

I let my son have the child support checks for his allowance. My ex knows this. He has asked my son for money. I guess I should say our son, but I don't want to. The ex doesn't deserve to be called a father. Seriously, what kind of man asks his 14 year old son for money, so he can buy a damned ATV? He told arkieboy that he would buy arkieboy an ATV, but that he would need help doing it, and for arkieboy to save his allowance for it. He was able to buy an ATV for himself, and then helped a friend buy the other ATV that he was going to buy for arkieboy. He plans on trading this ATV in on a new one. Arkieboy told my mother that his dad never has money for anything when he's with him, but is able to buy all kinds of stuff when he's not. He also said that his dad wastes money, and could use this money that's he's going to spend on this ATV, and help arkieboy buy school clothes. I was so proud when my mom told me this. That arkieboy said his dad should help him with things he actually needs, not just material things. Yes, his dad buys him really nice presents for his birthday and Christmas, but that's all. He will sometimes take him to a movie or the races, but after he found out that arkieboy gets the child support checks, he had the nerve to tell arkieboy that arkieboy should pay for the tickets to that kind of stuff. I hate that I picked such a poor specimen to be my child's father, because arkieboy deserves so much better, but arkieboy is turning out just fine, in spite of having that neanderthal for an example.

Reconnecting... some advice please

If you and a friend stop speaking, and you miss that friend, but you've let it go so long, and she hasn't tried to contact you, and you haven't contacted her, would you try again? Would it matter how long it's been since you spoke?

If you and another friend seem to be drifting apart, would you mention it to her? Would that seem too needy and clingy? Or would you just let it go, and mark it down to a friendship that wasn't meant to be forever?

If you had emailed casually back and forth a few times with someone that you really thought you could be good friends with (and maybe a little more), but they had not responded to your last email, would you just shrug it off, or would you attempt contact again?

If you needed more from a friendship than what you were getting, would you say anything?

I? am a perverse bitch.

That's all there is to it. I've been moaning and whining about wanting to be in a relationship, wanting to find that someone special, and bemoaning that I'll never find someone, blah, blah, blah. Last weekend, while I was online at the dating site, some guy wanted to IM with me. Normally, I act like a chicken shit, decline the invitation, and log off immediately. This time, I decided to accept, and IM'd with this guy for a while. He wanted to move over to yahoo IM, so fine, we did that. He wanted to call me on the phone, so I gave him my cell phone number. He called me, and I didn't say much. I take it by spells - sometimes you can't get me to shut up, but for the most part, I'm rather quiet. I figured I wouldn't hear from him again. I was wrong. He called me Thursday morning. I missed the call because I left my phone at home. He emailed me through the site that he had tried to call. Wanted to know if he could call me that night. He didn't call that night, but did call again Friday morning. I missed that call because I was in the shower. But I called him back, and we talked for maybe a minute or two as I was driving to work. We were both online last night, and IM'd for a while, and then he called me, and we were on the phone for almost an hour. He has called me 4 times today. He thinks we would be very compatible. He is willing to relocate. He finds me attractive. I think he's nice looking. I think he's probably a really nice guy, and would be fun to cuddle with. I want to run like hell.

squeeeeeeal!

Meet my new baby!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Cross your fingers

Maybe, just maybe, Monday I will have a new car. It was going to cost $3500-$4000 to fix my car, and the body-shop guy recommended that I just get a different car, based on my miles. So today, I went looking at one of the local used car lots, and I think I've found one! Actually, the only reason I didn't drive it off the lot was because I need to find out from my insurance company, what full coverage is going to run me. It's a blue 2003 Chevy Cavalier.

This is what a '03 Cav looks like:















Except the one I'm looking at is a 2-door. And if I am able to get this car, then I have to figure out what to do with the Malibu. I'm sure there has to be some kind of "You-pull-it" junkyard around here that I could sell it to.

Tagged by MM

Instructions: Choose a band or artist and answer the questions using only titles of their songs.

Are you male or female? Honky Tonk Women

Describe yourself: Girl with the Faraway eyes

How do some people feel about you: She's So Cold

How do you feel about yourself: 19th Nervous Breakdown

Describe your ex boyfriend/girlfriend: It's All Over Now

Describe your current significant other: Anybody Seen My Baby?

Describe where you want to be: Where the Boys Go

Describe how you live: Blinded by Rainbows

Describe how you love: Love in Vain

What would you ask for if you had just one wish? Gimme Shelter

Share a few words of wisdom: You Can't Always Get What You Want

Now say goodbye: It's All Over Now

I am tagging Zombie, MikkiD, and Boo.

Reading material

I read romance novels. I will read other things sometimes, but the majority of my pleasure reading is romance novels. None of the authors on my must-read list have anything new out (but one should be out in a day or two, I think), so I've been re-reading my older books. Sometimes when I read these books, I really wonder about the authors and what they consider to be "romantic". I was reading a couple of books by Claudia Dain (historical romance), and I had to put it down, because it was about to make me ill. The concept of these particular 2 books is that the woman is somehow damaged, and needs a man to fix her. She will never be complete otherwise. I'm sorry, excuse me while I *puke*.

Years ago, I read a lot of books by Cassie Edwards, until one day the underlying message of her books hit me, and then I was disgusted, and have never read any of her books since. C. Edwards writes the "Indian" love stories. Her heroines are always white, and the hero is always half Native American and the other half is white. Any male character in her books that are 100% Native American are always cruel and cold. It's as if the white heritage is what makes the hero capable of love, and worthy of being loved in return. When that finally hit me, I was repulsed by her books.

Now, I read a lot of paranormal romance. Vampires, werewolves, that kind of thing. I will occasionally pick up a "normal" romance, but not often. I do read other things, though. I read some fantasy (actually, some might argue that reading romance is the same as reading fantasy), some suspense/mystery, and occasionally, I will drift into just fiction. I also read cookbooks. I do get bored with the formula nature of the romances, but I find that a lot of mystery books suffer from that problem, too.

My favorite authors are Christine Feehan, Katie MacAlister, Sherrilyn Kenyon/Kinley MacGregor, Laurel K Hamilton and Carol O'Connell. Some of the new authors that I've started reading are Lynne Viehl, Mary Janice Davidson, Kim Harrison, and J.R. Ward. I really prefer the series type author, I think. I like being briefly introduced to a character in one book, and then getting their story later. I also like the ongoing relationship with a character.

So, who are you reading?

Question

How bad do you think a few ounces of wine will mess up a keyboard? I knocked my glass over last night, all over the keyboard. So pissed off. A few of the keys are kind of sticky to use, but so far, no problems that I can't deal with. *grin*

I had so much I was going to get done today, but I woke up with a killer headache, and just haven't been able to get moving very fast. Finally took some Advil, so I'm hoping it will kick the pain fairly soon. Which brings up another question - expiration dates - how closely do you pay attention to them?

Hips Don't Lie

Watch Videos:

1. Hips Don'T Lie (Shakira)

Video Codes by VideoCodeZone.Com

I love this song. I love this video. I wish I could move like Shakira.

You know, when I was 4 or 5, I wanted to be a belly dancer when I grew up. Seriously. That was my dream. I should find out if there are any classes around here that I could take. I think that is going to be my goal for this year - to take belly dance classes. I could pretend that I would be doing it for health reasons, and just for the exercise of it, but truth is? It would be fun, and, IMO, it is sooooo sexy.

The bitch is back

I have been in such a horrible temper lately. Other than a brief respite when I was in Texas, I have been pinging back and forth between feeling utterly defeated and thinking my life could not BE any worse, to just such anger and rage towards others.

I've not been comfortable in blogland recently. Hell, I've not felt comfortable anywhere recently, online or off. I feel like I can't trust my judgment in others. I've put my faith in people, and who I *thought* they were, and I think I was wrong. It hurts when you think you have a connection with someone, that the feelings are reciprocated, but then you start to feel as if it's all one-sided. I've got to quit letting others have so much power over me.

Update on the car situation: The police officer wrote up the report to reflect that all blame and fault was mine. I will have to have the car repaired at my own expense.

Trip to Texas: Meeting Frank and his wife was really great. I didn't take but maybe 3 pictures. I just didn't feel like fucking with the camera while I was there. My business meeting went very well. I had went down to go over Medicare, etc with the bookkeepers. I hope they all went away knowing something new.

Upcoming peep meet: I will be getting to meet Syren and CSTL at the end of this month. Woo Hoo!

Quiz time

Your Luck Quotient: 43%

You have an average luck quotient. There's been times when you've been extremely lucky... but also times when you've been very unlucky. You probably know that you can make your own luck in life, if you're open to it. So listen to your intuition as much as you can. It's right more often than you might expect.

How Lucky Are You?

You Are Teal Green

You are a one of a kind, original person. There's no one even close to being like you. Expressive and creative, you have a knack for making the impossible possible. While you are a bit offbeat, you don't scare people away with your quirks. Your warm personality nicely counteracts and strange habits you may have.

What Color Green Are You?

You Are Guinness

You know beer well, and you'll only drink the best beers in the world. Watered down beers disgust you, as do the people who drink them. When you drink, you tend to become a bit of a know it all - especially about subjects you don't know well. But your friends tolerate your drunken ways, because you introduce them to the best beers around.

What's Your Beer Personality?

You're 25% Irish

You're not Irish. Not even a wee bit. Not even on St. Patrick's Day!

How Irish Are You?

Just a test

deleting the video, because I can't view my blog, and checking to see if this helps.

I give up

I abso-fucking-lutely give up. Apparently, I am not to have a car that isn't a piece of shit. I know life is not easy, it's not supposed to be easy, but does it have to be a total shitfest?

What's a weekend without a quiz or 2?

You Are 52% Open Minded

You are a very open minded person, but you're also well grounded. Tolerant and flexible, you appreciate most lifestyles and viewpoints. But you also know where you stand firm, and you can draw that line. You're open to considering every possibility - but in the end, you stand true to yourself.

How Open Minded Are You?

Your Values Profile

Loyalty: You value loyalty a fair amount. You're loyal to your friends... to a point. But if they cross you, you will reconsider your loyalties. Staying true to others is important to you, but you also stay true to yourself. Honesty: You value honesty a fair amount. You're honest when you can be, but you aren't a stickler for it. If a little white lie will make a situation more comfortable, you'll go for it. In the end, you mostly care about "situational integrity." Generosity: You value generosity a fair amount. You are all about giving, as long as there's some give and take. Supportive and kind, you don't mind helping out a friend in need. But you know when you've given too much. You have no problem saying "no"! Humility: You value humility highly. You have the self-confidence to be happy with who you are. And you don't need to seek praise to make yourself feel better. You're very modest, and you're keep the drama factor low. Tolerance: You value tolerance a fair amount. You are open to new cultures, beliefs, and ideas. You have very few prejudices that you're aware of. And while you are tolerant, you do stand true to what you believe.

The Five Factor Values Test

3/1/06

The city baseball club has started their spring practices. One of the baseball parks is in front of my subdivision. It really makes me miss arkieboy when I drive by it in the evenings on my way home from work, and see the kids out there playing. Arkieboy loved playing baseball, and played for 4 years before he moved back to Arkansas. He wasn't a star player, but oh! the passion he had for baseball. I don't know what happened to change that. It's as if he just woke up one morning, and wasn't interested any more. But it just seems strange not to be taking him to practice, and to the games. It's strange how certain things become so linked with your memories, when others don't. Walking past his bedroom each day doesn't affect me nearly as much as driving past the baseball fields.

just some quizzes

You Are 34% Evil

A bit of evil lurks in your heart, but you hide it well. In some ways, you are the most dangerous kind of evil.

How Evil Are You?

You Are a Natural Flirt

Believe it or not, you're a really effective flirt. And you're so good, you hardly notice that you're flirting. Your attitude and confidence make you a natural flirt. And the fact that you don't know it is just that more attractive!

What Kind of Flirt Are You?

Where is a 5# can of coffee when you need it?

Just some stuff

As some of you already know, and for those who don't, I totally suck at bowling. Well, I have to brag on myself. Friday night, I bowled a 140 for my first game, and a 154 for the third game! I know, you're probably thinking "that's not so great. Why are you bragging about that?" Well, two weeks ago, I bowled a 76, 74, and 65. Which was my worst week ever. I have had worse games, I think, but never that bad for all three. Last week, I bowled a 101, 124, and 101. After that night, my cumulative average for the season was 85. So I was able to bowl over my average by 55 and 69 pins. *pats self on back* (The second game was back to normal - I bowled an 84. *shrugs*)

I've been bringing my camera with me to the bowling alley for the last couple of weeks. I love taking candid shots of everyone. Actually I hope for really BAAAD shots, so I can tease the folks with them, and do fun things with the photos. Of course, whenever I make the mistake of laying the camera down, they try to do the same to me and delete some of the ones of themselves. Naturally, I delete most of the pics of me. But here's one I kept:










This is me and my bowling team:






















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I haven't written any of my poetry lately (not that it's really poetry, but I'm not sure what else to call it). I can't write to just write. I don't know how people do that, you know? I envy that ability. For me, I have to really be feeling something - going through some kind of emotional rollercoaster. And I haven't been feeling anything lately. And if I do feel something, I have to write it right then if it's going to be written. If I wait a couple of hours, I can't do it. I've tried in the past, and it comes out so stilted when I do that. I get so frustrated sometimes, because I just can't come up with the words to express what I'm feeling. I feel like sometimes that I'm repeating what I've already written, but I can't come up with the interesting turns of phrases that are different. Which is what separates me from the truly talented, I suppose.
*************************************************************************
I'm getting bored with my life. I need something in it. I just don't know what. I feel like I'm stagnating. I'm burnt out as far as work goes. There have been so many mornings lately, that when I wake up, I wish I had a stomach virus just so I could legitimately call in. I had rather spend the day puking my guts out than go in and do the same old thing over and over. I even regretted getting a flu vaccination this year, because if I had come down with the flu, I could have been off work for a few days. I just don't think that's a good mindset to be in, but I don't know what to do to change it.

I think it's funny...

Ever have one of those moments, when you see or hear something that you think is absolutely hysterical, and you want to share it with someone? But then you try to think of who would think it's as funny as you do. And you're just not sure. Everyone else may think it's disgusting and gross, and that you must be some kind of no-class skank. Never had one of those moments? Hmph, must just be me, then.

I was in Spencer's, looking for some Happy Bunny stuff, and walked past the Bad Taste Bears display. I had bought one of the BTB's for Carey, I think for her birthday this past year, but I don't remember which one. Anyway, I saw this:

I wanted to buy it and send it to someone so very badly, but I just don't know who, other than myself, would actually think it's funny. Of course, if I had a certain someone's address from the other place, he would be getting this.

Edited to add the official website for Bad Taste Bears.

http://www.badtastebears.com/

Baby George

Be my Valentine?

So MM & Jen are valentines, and Nutz has claimed MTW...
so, who wants to be my valentine?

Your Candy Heart Says "Cutie Pie"

You always seem to have a hot date, even though you never try to meet anyone. A total charmer, you have a natural appeal that keeps you in high demand. Your ideal Valentine's Day date: multiple dates with multiple people Your flirting style: 100% natural What turns you off: serious relationship talks Why you're hot: you're totally addicting

What Does Your Candy Heart Say?

*boggle* this is the exact opposite of me.

It’s overshare time with arkie!

I'm sorry that I posted advance notice about this entry. I get this feeling that some of you have some expectation of an entertaining post now. But if you do? What the hell are you thinking? I'm arkie! I don't make entertaining or insightful posts! Get real!

MTW’s post about scheduling scrumping inspired this, sort of. It also is influenced by the “how we met” stories. I had commented on MTW's post that my ex and I went from once or twice a day to eventually once every two months. It would hit me that we hadn’t had sex in so long, and then half-way through, I would remember why I didn’t care.

When K and I met, I was not a virgin. I had my wild spell in high school and college, but had not dated or anything for around a year before meeting K. I don’t know if you could call it dating – but we did whatever it was for a couple of months. I was working at the local nursing home when we met. One of my co-workers – her husband had a band, and they had come out to play for the residents. K was staying with one of the guys and his wife, and was helping haul everything in, and set it up. I thought he was cute, so I asked my friend to set us up. This was in November. I assumed K was the same age as me (22). B’s band was playing at a club New Year’s Eve, and the plan was for K & I to meet there for our date. But there was a change in plans, because the owner said he couldn’t let K in on NYE because he wasn’t 21. But he would go ahead and let him in the next night. I now make the assumption that K is 20. OK, 2 years younger than me. I can handle that. The next night, he’s there, we talk some (not much – the band was really loud). We ride back to DA with B, and K & I kiss some.

I would go over to the trailer that he was staying at, and we would kiss some, but we couldn’t go any further because at that time, he didn’t have a bedroom (the other bedroom in the trailer didn’t have any furniture), and there was nowhere for us to go, because I was still living with my parents. The couple he was staying with finally put a bed in the other room – I guess they were tired of our make-out sessions on the couch. I think it was in February that we had sex for the first time. He proposed right afterwards, while we were laying there cuddling. Perhaps two or three weeks later, he moved back to LR, but was planning on moving back to DA. I drove up to see him a few times, and had met his mother and step-father. It was during this first meeting, when his mother mentioned his birthday coming up, that I finally found out how old he really was. He would be turning 18 that year. I wanted the earth to open up and swallow me right then. I was sleeping with a 17 year old! Gah! My mind was racing. If I had found this out before we slept together, it would have never progressed any further after that. But, because of various twisted issues I have regarding sex and morality, I felt like it was too late to go back now.

After K moved back to DA, we would see each other every night. And we were scrumping every night. Sometimes I would go see him on my lunch break, and we would have a quickie. After a few months, he asks me to marry him again. I say yes (what was I thinking???), and we set a date, September something or other. *shrugs* It was the first weekend, and I think we got married on Saturday. But it could have been Friday. A couple of nights before the wedding, he says he doesn’t want us to sleep together from then until the wedding, so the wedding night will be special. I thought that was kind of sweet, and agreed. After the wedding, which was at my parents house, and had no guests other than my parents, his mother and step-father, his grandmother, my brother and sister, his brother and sister, his aunt and uncle, and the couple that fixed us up, and maybe one of his friends, instead of leaving so we could have our “honeymoon”, K wanted to stay and ride the 4-wheeler and hang out. I finally get him to agree to leave, but by then, it was too late for us to drive to Heber Springs, which is where we had planned to stay. We end up staying in a nasty, sleazy motel in the town 30 miles away from DA. K had stopped at a gas station and got a corn dog or a chili dog, and ended up being sick all night. I had to keep running out to the gas station to try to find something that would make him feel better. Some men can be such babies when they’re sick. He was too sick for scrumping. I woke up once during the night to discover he was watching porn on the TV.

After we were married, our sex life slowed down considerably. We would be intimate maybe 2-3 times a week, which turned into once a week, which turned into once every two weeks.

K had major hang ups about sex that did not surface until after we were married. I am (was?) a moaner and screamer, and would also talk real dirty while scrumping. After we were married, K informed me that the dirty talk was such a turn off to him. He also shared the tidbit that I needed to be quiet during sex, because someone might hear us. I was also instructed to keep my legs flat on the bed, because someone might see my leg through the curtain if I raised my leg, and figure out we were having sex. If we ever went doggy style, we had to be VERY careful of our position on the bed, in relation to the windows. Needless to say, the lights were ALWAYS out.

One night, we were sitting on the couch, fooling around, and it was going to lead to scrumping. K wanted to go back to the bedroom, but I wanted to stay in the living room, and do it on the floor. Well, first he had to pin the curtains closed, because someone might somehow see through that 1/16th of an inch slit between them. Then he had to close off the spare bedroom door, because someone might see in that window, into the living room where we were. Next was putting something over the window on the front door (which had a sheer curtain and frosted glass), and making sure it was completely covered. By the time he got all this done, I was no longer in the mood. Oh yeah, I almost forgot this, because it really makes all of this make sense – we lived in a trailer that was on an alley. It was very rare for anyone to ever drive down it. And because it was propped up, and the windows were high, there was no way anyone could have seen in the bedroom window, around the doorway, onto the floor in the living room.

In addition to turning him off by talking dirty, there were a couple of other things that were total mood killers for him. One was if I were to ask for any assistance in “getting there” after he was finished. And he was always finished before me. I had started faking it for a while, to save his ego, but eventually I got tired of that. The other thing I did that he didn’t care for was acting interested in sex as soon as he came home from work.

It got to the point that if we did have sex, it would have to be in the bathroom (because he would always wait until the morning, after I had my shower). We had to be in the bathroom, because after all, during the day, someone might see through the curtains in the bedroom.

A little background info – the trailer had one of those crank-out windows in the bathroom, that was probably 6-8 inches wide, and 3 inches tall. The bottom of the tub was probably 3 inches higher than the floor. Standing in the tub, the window was level with my shoulder.

This window had to be closed, and the door shut, when we had sex, because someone might drive down the alley, and see through the window on the front door, down the hall, and into the bathroom. Or somehow see through that window. Plus, as I had mentioned, this would be after I had my shower, so it was hot and humid in there. The last time we were together, only two things were going through my mind - wishing he would hurry up and finish and wondering how offended he would be if I were to start brushing my teeth while he was still at it.

Until being with my ex, I never believed there was such a thing as “bad” sex. Actually, it was worse than bad, it was BORING. When I left him, my thoughts regarding sex was basically I would rather not ever have sex again than to be with someone who had no regard whatsoever for my feelings or satisfaction.

I'm sorry I made you think there would be something of interest here. *smooch*

Oh, just remembered something else! I did not hear this myself, it was reported to me by his second ex-wife. After all that, and after his 2nd marriage ended, one night the nighttime DJ of one of the most popular radio stations in Arkansas had posed the question of why do women turn into ice queens after you marry them? K had the nerve to call in and say that it had happened to him twice. That the sex was hot, blah, blah, blah, before marriage, but as soon as we were married, both of his ex-wives turned into major Ice Queens.

watch this space

I'm working on an entry, but I keep rambling, losing my place in my story, and forgetting something that I was going to say. As soon as I can get it done, I will post it.

Until then, let me leave you with this little bit of wisdom:
If your thong doesn't feel right, stop long enough to check it. You may have somehow put it on sideways. *grin*

Nutz tagged me

Four Things

Four jobs I've had:
1. Bookkeeper
2. Nurse's Aide
3. Laundry Aide
4. Billing Manager

Four movies I can watch over and over:
1. Old Yeller
2. Ever After
3. Die Hard
4. Pirates of the Caribbean

Four Places I have lived:
1. Austin, Arkansas
2. Cherokee Village, Arkansas
3. Sheridan, Arkansas
4. Franklin, Tennessee

Four Shows I love:
1. Charmed
2. Big Brother
3. Reba
4. Law & Order: SVU

Four highly-touted TV shows I detest: (I cannot think of any I detest, so I will just list highly-touted shows that I have never watched or just couldn't get into.
1. Lost
2. Nip/Tuck
3. CSI
4. ER

Four books I'd recommend to anyone, anytime:
Sorry, no answer.

Four places I have vacationed:
1. Silver Dollar City, Missouri
That's it... I have never actually had a vacation anywhere else. I usually just go see my parents or stay home when I take vacation.

Four of my favorite dishes:
1. Khaeng Phed
2. Lasagna
3. Shrimp Scampi
4. Chile Rellano

Four sites I visit daily:
1. RTVW
2. Blogger
3. Yahoo
4. bbwpersonalsplus

Four places I would rather be right now:
1. a Spa
2. the beach
3. in bed
4. getting a manicure/pedicure

And I'm tagging:
1. MTW
2. Zombie
3. Weltek
4. Coco

Huh.

I'm just a little pissed now. OK, I know that the sig pic was created as a joke/payback. But it's still my damn sigpic! But now someone else has the same damn sigpic. Dammit, he made it for me, and now he's made it for someone else, too?











I know this is childish, but sig pics, IMO, should not be copied over with just a name change, unless it's for a special occasion (like Syren did with the pink ribbons for breast cancer awareness). When I make one for someone, I try to make it personal and unique. Not some cookie cutter where you just plug in their name. The least he could have done was change the order of the pics, or use a different color and/or style for the font.

*snort*

We are playing a prank on someone at work. Photo Shop is a wonderful thing, and I am so jealous of peeps who know how to work the program.

so

Work has been pissy. I am getting fed up with a few things. For one, I am tired of people totally disregarding what I say. There is a report that has to be submitted to CMS every quarter. And every quarter, someone is late getting it to me. I requested that it be sent to me so that I had it by the 20th. Two people waited until the 19th to mail it. Why the fuck would you do that? WHY? And it's not like this is just some minor report that is not important... If you don't submit it, then CMS cuts off the cash flow. Another thing, I have told them over and over again, that when a claim is rejected for MSP issues, you CANNOT file a new claim, you must adjust the rejected claim. So, what do they do? They keep submitting new claims. Do they pick up the phone or send me an email, asking for help? No, they just keep doing the same thing over and over and over. Guess what? If it didn't work the first time, or the second, or the third, it's not going to work the fourth, fifth, sixth, etc time, either! Perfect time for one of my favorite quotes - "Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." ~Albert Einstein

We have a new member in our department. She had worked in one of the facilities. We got along fine then. Now? Not so much. Some people need to learn their place, and stay the hell out of my job.

I quit going to Weight Watchers around Thanksgiving. I'm gaining the weight back, because I'm not eating right at all. And I should care, but I am having a hard time doing so. I feel myself drifting back into that depression that I thought I had put behind me. I feel a distance being created between me and some of my online friends, and I'm not sure if I'm creating it, or if they are.

Arkieboy has started going to church. He told me a couple of months ago that he was saved, and he was baptized and joined the church. I'm torn about this. On the one hand, I am very happy for him, because even though I am not currently going to church, I still believe in God, and I belief that faith is very important. On the other hand, he is going to a very conservative church. He soaks everything in like a sponge, and I don't agree with all of the teachings of this church. (Think Rulz here.) And Arkieboy is one of those type of people that will debate you to death, and being his parent, I obviously don't know anything about anything. (teenagers! bah!) He has said a couple of things, and it really bothers me, but I don't know how to address it. I don't want to come across as being critical of his faith or belittling of his beliefs, but some of his opinions don't sit well with me.

weekend quizzes

Your World View

You are a fairly broadminded romantic and reasonably content. You value kindness and try to live by your ideals. You have strong need for security, which may be either emotional or material. You respect truth and are flexible. You like people, and they can readily make friends with you. You are not very adventurous, but this does not bother you.

What Is Your World View?

You Are The Devil

You don't represent evil, but you do represent the animalistic side of humans. You demonstrate what happens when we listen to our first instincts. At times you tend to be materialistic and hedonistic, giving in to temptation. Admit it, you're guilty of acting first - and forgetting to think later! Your fortune: Right now, you may be having a difficult time as a result of choices you have made. You need to think about what's important in your life, and discover what chains you down. It is the time to acknowledge your faults and take steps to overcome them. It's also the time to let go of any fears or inhibitions that are holding you back.

What Tarot Card Are You?

You Are A Lily

You are a nurturer and all around natural therapist. People see you as their rock. And they are able to depend on you. You are a soothing influence. You can make people feel better with a few words. Your caring has more of an impact than even you realize.

What Flower Are You?

Post Secret

Post Secret

I think a lot of us go to this site. Sometimes, there will be a postcard that really speaks to me. This one did.

You Are a Rainbow

Breathtaking and rare You are totally enchanting and intriguing But you usually don't stick around long! You are best known for: your beauty Your dominant state: seducing

What Type of Weather Are You?

Yeah, ok, whatever.

You Are a Retrospective Soul

The most misunderstood of all the soul signs. Sometimes you even have difficulty seeing yourself as who you are. You are intense and desire perfection in every facet of your life. You're best described as extremely idealistic, hardworking, and a survivor. Great moments of insight and sensitivity come to you easily. But if you aren't careful, you'll ignore these moments and repeat past mistakes. For you, it is difficult to seperate the past from the present. You will suceed once you overcome the disappoinments in life. Souls you are most compatible with: Traveler Soul and Prophet Soul

What Kind of Soul Are You?

Paradox/Self-Knowledge

I care about people and can't stand to see them hurting, and wish I could solve their problems. I am one of the most self-centered, selfish people you will ever meet.

I don't cry when people die in real life. I cry at movies, and when reading books. I also am brought to tears by marching bands. (I SOOOO don't understand that one.)

The personality traits that I find to be the most annoying in others are ones that I have also.

There are two people at OT that, on the surface, appear to be really very much alike. I like one, and despise the other.

I am in awe of people who possess great intelligence and can carry on intense intellectual discussions, but would really like to tell them some times to get the fuck over themselves.

I am a great listener and can really empathize with people at times, and other times, I just totally zone out and all I hear is blah, blah, blah, brak, brak, brak, I love the sound of my own voice, blah, blah, blah.

Honesty is very important to me, and I try not to lie, yet I will lie and say I agree with someone just to get them to shut up already.

I am a calm, easy-going person, and very non-confrontational, yet I can lose my temper at a drop of a hat, and will scream and yell and cuss you out in a heartbeat.

I am shy and get embarrassed easily, yet will share some of the most intimate details of my life with people.

I am naive and trusting, but also very cynical.

I have to laugh at how wrapped up some people get in TV shows, yet, I am very pissed at how the scoring went on the Skating with the Celebrities show last week.

I don't understand why people still flock to Graceland every August, yet I still regret and mourn the passing of Stevie Ray Vaughn. And I cried when Princess Diana died.

I do not play sports, etc, because I am not good at them. I don't do things if I can't do them well. Yet, I continue to be on my company's bowling league. (This week? The second game, I actually bowled a freaking 55. I'm the worst bowler in the league, and it bothers me sometimes, but for the most part I don't care.)

You Are 36% Abnormal

You are at low risk for being a psychopath. It is unlikely that you have no soul. You are at medium risk for having a borderline personality. It is somewhat likely that you are a chaotic mess. You are at low risk for having a narcissistic personality. It is unlikely that you are in love with your own reflection. You are at high risk for having a social phobia. It is very likely that you feel most comfortable in your mom's basement. You are at low risk for obsessive compulsive disorder. It is unlikely that you are addicted to hand sanitizer.

How Abnormal Are You?

On a break

"I got sick of my job, sick of my wife
Sick of my future and sick of my life
I packed up my car and I got some gas
And told ev'rybody they could kiss my ass
I'm goin' to Party town (Yeah, yeah)
I wanna party down (Yeah, yeah)
I wanna have some fun
I wanna fool around
I'm goin' to Party town"

Got some issues I need to work on and things I need to work through. See ya when I see ya.

Why the monkey butt?

In case you're wondering...

These most recent picture was posted because, for some reason, after I posted the first pic, Zombie asked a couple of times for another picture. Seeing as how I am such an accomodating person, I posted it for her.

The first picture posted was to make MiamiCatt laugh (and allow me to be be a bitch). There is a particular peep at OT that I simply despise. Some of you know who this person is. I am not going to name names, because I believe some of you are friends with this person. This person is not one of Catt's favorite peeps, either. One night, to cheer Catt up, I started ripping on this person in my IM's to Catt. I mentioned that this person's face, IMO, resembles a monkey's ass. (And, yes, I am aware that the first pic is of Chimpanzees, which are actually apes, not monkeys.)

So, that's the story behind the monkey butt.

Hey, Z'Baby!

*wink* Are you turned on yet?

(only for you would I google monkey butt)

Pleasant little dream

I had a couple of nice dreams last night. Of course, by now, I'm left with just vague memories of what the dreams were, but they were nice. Not sex dreams, though. In the dream, I was in a relationship with a really nice guy, who was also quite cute. This is not someone I know IRL. We were just hanging out together at my house, cuddling on the couch while I did some paperwork. (Sorry, that's all I remember - except for him asking me where I keep my matchbox cars.)

*points up* That's what I hate the most about being alone. Don't get me wrong, I hate not having sex, too, but I really hate not having someone to just BE with.

Follow up on Honesty Post

I have really enjoyed all your responses to my question about how you interact with people you don't like. Some of the responses made me want to delve a little deeper.

What do you do when the person you don't like has something bad happen to them? I don't mean anything seriously tragic like death or being struck by a major catastrophe or being diagnosed with a serious disease. More along the lines of they put in for a promotion and didn't get it, or things like that.

I have to admit, I don't care. If I don't like you, and you didn't get the job you wanted, I laugh to myself. And if you post something on a message board about it, I don't post any comments whatsoever. I just cannot express sympathy that I don't truly feel. And I can't or don't feel sympathy for people I don't like. And I'm not completely sure that I would express any sympathy for the more tragic events, either. I truly am a cold-hearted bitch sometimes. Or I'm extremely passionate. You know? I love completely and whole-heartedly, and I hate the same way.

I also wonder sometimes about the responses to pics posted on OT. People post pics of themselves, their SO, their children, and everyone responds with how hot the poster is, how hot the SO is, and cute the children are, and I wonder... Do you really feel that way? Or are you being nice? Don't get me wrong, I would never tell someone I thought their kid was ugly, I wouldn't tell them their SO was ugly, etc, but I'm not going to gush all over someone, saying how gorgeous they are, when they're just average looking. (Or in some cases, uglier than a monkey's ass. *waves to Catt* she knows who I mean.) We had a discussion in someone's blog (don't remember whose it was. Hell, it might have been mine!) about a particular set of oobies, and how they weren't as fantastic as the owner of said oobies seems to think. But every time that pic gets posted, the men just drool and fall all over themselves to say how hot they are. And it makes me wonder if they really mean that, or is it just saying it to bolster someone's ego.

If you haven't figured it out yet, I really don't interact well socially with people.

Oops! I forgot something else that I wanted to address. Some of you had commented that you find out that you had had the wrong idea about someone you didn't initially like. I understand that. I think I tend to like most people to start off with and think the best of them, and then it's as I get to see more of them, that I realize that I was wrong that way. That they aren't as nice or whatever as I thought. Or they just become more and more annoying to me. And I know this is an incredibly arrogant statement that I'm about to make, but I'm being honest here. Let me make a disclaimer first: I do not expect my friends to like who I like, and dislike who I dislike. They may see something in someone (good or bad) that I don't see, and vice versa. However, sometimes there are some people that I dislike so much, that I really question the judgement of people who seem to like them. Seriously. It's like, are we not listening to the same person? Can you not see what an ass this person is?

Honesty.

Do you think people know what you truly think about them? I don't just mean the people you care about, knowing how much you do care, and appreciate them, but the people you don't like. Do they know you don't like them?

Isn't there some level of dishonesty in being friendly to people when you truly despise them? *sigh* I dunno... I am almost always nice to people, no matter what I feel about them. And I think people are led to believe that I'm friends with them because of that. I think that makes me a hypocrite and 2-faced. It's strange, I'm nicer to people I don't like than I am to people I like. The more comfortable I am with someone, the more likely I am to pop off rude remarks sometimes.

Well, that's enough of deep thoughts for me.

Monkey Ass!!!

Introducing...

Kolton Louis

For Catt, and she knows why

Blah, blah, blah, I know more than you... *grin*

twig

drifting drifting
skimming along the top
bumping against others
but never stopping
moving on
out of sight
gone

Hey, Coco!

Good news! My sister, who found she was pregnant with her 2nd child around the same time you found out you were pregnant, and was given the same original due date that you were given, is in the hospital right now having the baby! Maybe this will be one more thing the two of you have in common with your pregnancies!

UPDATE: At 3:27 this afternoon, Kolton Lewis entered this world. He weighed 9 pounds, 8 ounces. Mother and son are doing fine.

(not sure if she's spelling it Lewis or Louis)

Was I the only one who didn't know...

what a fuckbench was? (And was curious enough to go google it?)