I've been bringing my camera with me to the bowling alley for the last couple of weeks. I love taking candid shots of everyone. Actually I hope for really BAAAD shots, so I can tease the folks with them, and do fun things with the photos. Of course, whenever I make the mistake of laying the camera down, they try to do the same to me and delete some of the ones of themselves. Naturally, I delete most of the pics of me. But here's one I kept:
This is me and my bowling team:
*************************************************************************
I haven't written any of my poetry lately (not that it's really poetry, but I'm not sure what else to call it). I can't write to just write. I don't know how people do that, you know? I envy that ability. For me, I have to really be feeling something - going through some kind of emotional rollercoaster. And I haven't been feeling anything lately. And if I do feel something, I have to write it right then if it's going to be written. If I wait a couple of hours, I can't do it. I've tried in the past, and it comes out so stilted when I do that. I get so frustrated sometimes, because I just can't come up with the words to express what I'm feeling. I feel like sometimes that I'm repeating what I've already written, but I can't come up with the interesting turns of phrases that are different. Which is what separates me from the truly talented, I suppose.
*************************************************************************
I'm getting bored with my life. I need something in it. I just don't know what. I feel like I'm stagnating. I'm burnt out as far as work goes. There have been so many mornings lately, that when I wake up, I wish I had a stomach virus just so I could legitimately call in. I had rather spend the day puking my guts out than go in and do the same old thing over and over. I even regretted getting a flu vaccination this year, because if I had come down with the flu, I could have been off work for a few days. I just don't think that's a good mindset to be in, but I don't know what to do to change it.
18 comments:
Call in sick and go skydiving
Actually, that sounds awful to me. I'm terrified of heights. Take a day off and drive to the next town and spend all day in different coffee shops.
OK, Boo. Can I expect you to be here Monday at 8? *grin*
I think about leaving, but I've been with this company since '87. I get 4 weeks paid vacation, have good insurance, and I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be able to start out new somewhere else, making what I do now. And up until recently, I loved my job.
I could never go skydiving, Bob. I'm not afraid of heights as much as I am afraid of falling from heights. But a day spent in coffee shops sounds nice. Or maybe in a nice bookstore or library. Maybe that's what I should do.
I know you, you are Arkie *smile*. I so relate to your feelings of being stuck or in a rut. Another time I like to be here and read about everyone's life. I haven't had anything challenging on my job for over a year (actually nothing at all to do for a couple of months). And I'm not like that - taking the money and laughing. I need challenges mentally.
I'm a terrible bowler. At least you have that. I currently don't have anything outside of work.
And, I am sorta a manic depressive. My counselor said I'm not but I have mood swings where I'm chatty and energetic and then when I'm sullen and tired. These don't come with any reason, i.e. stress, they just come and go. I prefer the chatty and energetic so I just wait out the other. I've always had them. I'll post about it some day.
Hang in there - it's almost spring!
Well, I am just going to leave "at bowling" out of the equation.
I SUCK!
neener neener!
{{{HUGS}}} to Arkie.
Rotten1 and his best friend averaged around 65 today with bumper bowling. Make you feel any better about your ability? *grin*
I know what you mean about writing. I wrote my best stuff when I was inspired by life events. These days, I don't know if I don't have the inspiration, the time, the desire or a combination of the above. Sometimes the writing is cathartic, sometimes its more stressful trying to write than dealing with the issue at hand.
*smooch*
I can't bowl, so your numbers are impressive to me. :)
I also can't write (or haven't since I was a teen) and have always loved your writings/poems. Don't give up on that.
Also, I agree with Bob, except for the skydiving part. Call in sick and do something really indulgent for yourself. Everyone deserves that every now and then!
*smooch*
Maybe my bowling story will make you feel better Arkie. We went 10 pin bowling with my cousins a few years ago. My cousins were like brothers to me when I was growing up and they teased me mercilessly. There were four boys in their family and I was like the little sister they never had to pick on.
I had only 10 pin bowled once before. When I threw my first ball my fingers slipped out of the holes on the backswing and the ball almost took out three of my cousins who were standing behind me. When they finally picked themselves up off the floor from laughing I tried to throw another one. This time I squeezed my fingers very tight in the holes so I wouldn't lose the ball on the backswing. Apparently it was too tight of a grip because I ended up lobbing the ball like in slo-pitch and it bounces three times before finally hitting the gutter. Once again, they were rolling on the ground laughing at me. I got the last laugh though because once I finally got in the groove I kicked their collective asses and had the high score. See? There's hope for anyone.
What you're explaining about wishing for a sick day has gone through my mind lately too. I'm so bored with my life right now and work sucks so bad that it's really not helping my situation.
Hang in there Arkie. Spring's coming and things are always better in the spring.
We love going bowling. I have only broke 100 once, so you have majorly impressed me.
I was just discussing how I am bored with life. Just because Michelle and I are happy together doesn't mean that we have excitement. I'm in some need of that soon.
Maybe I'll join your bowling league. *grin*
I suck at bowling, too. I am not bored but I was sick of work so I changed my days and hours so that I only work Thursday through Saturday for PH now. They are long days but I get in, make my moolah and then I'm done for 4 days. And I keep my benefits that way.
I think you need a vacation Freda and I think you need to come see me on your vacation and I will help you relax and have an awesome time so that when you return to work you will have a "happy (memory) place" to go to. Whatdayasay? :D
*smooches*
I just always picture Grease 2 when people talk about bowling.
I refuse to ever take bowling seriously. Kind of like horseshoes. I think it's a rule you must laugh and poke fun during these two games.
I am LOL'ing at Lights' bowling story. Too funny!
Arkie? I suck at bowling too, but I have the best time. Both my parents are excellent bowlers (well, my mom was, but my 82 year old dad still kicks ass on the lanes) and they got stuck with a daughter who sucks on the lanes. Oh well.
And I'm bored too. But I'm kind of stuck here, doing what I'm doing, taking care of my dad until the time he no longer needs taking care of. I've resigned myself to putting things on hold until then. It sucks, but it has to be done.
You? Should write a list of 10 things you have always wanted to do and make a plan to do one this year. The list doesn't have to be exotic (like go to Tahiti--which is on my list) but could be simple like take a watercolor class--which is also on my list. However, do not, under any circumstances put "marry Keith Urban" on your list because that is #1 on my list.
*glares at Arkie*
OK, Augie, I won't try to marry Keith Urban. I promise. *crosses heart*
Wanna trade jobs?
Congrats on the bowling highs. What a great idea to bring your camera to the bowling alley. Perhaps bringing your camera to more places and making collages or photo albums or scrapbooks will give you a fun and producive hobby. Then you'll see in pictures how much is going on in your life that you don't even realize. And it looks like you're not alone with feeling that you want more out of life. Although I haven't been around much lately, I've been thinking of 'ya.
By the way, I forgot to say that I think the picture of you is really cute!
Oh how I love you. I find you beautiful.
Also, I understand all about lack of creativity. Sometimes, reading helps my writing. I like to read May Sarton when I am in a creative rut. I'm not sure why she jumps starts my thoughts, but she does.
*smooch* Sorry about your work rut.
Post a Comment