My name is Freda, and I'm a food-aholic. My weight is 339 as of 9/17/08. I ask myself how I got to this point, but I know how. There is no doubt. When I'm bored, I eat. When I'm lonely, I eat. When I'm sad, I eat. And I.Don't.Stop. There have been many times that I have eaten a half-gallon of ice cream in one sitting. Even though my tongue was frozen to the point of pain, I kept eating. I'm slowly killing myself. I say I want to change, but I'm not sure that I actually do. Why else do I sabotage myself? Everytime I start to lose weight, I start pigging out even more so, or I quit excercising.
I have once again started working out at Curves - made my 3x last week. My doctor has started me on a medication for appetite supression. Phen-something. The doctor and the pharmacist both told me to be sure to still eat something for lunch and dinner, even if I'm not hungry. Which is what my problem is! I only ate once yesterday. I did have two meals today, but dinner was only a loaded baked potato. Should have just had a plain one, though.
I had a horrible dream last week, before my doctor's visit. The only scene I remember is I was at a park or something, and sat down on a bench. I was so fat that my belly fat drooped so low, it was touching the ground when I sat.
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13 comments:
*sigh*
I think everything you've said here is a great start to *something*, even if it's just self-awareness. I'll have to send you a PM or an email... give me a little time.
{{hugs}}
I sincerely hope this blog can be a place where it all begins...you getting healthier and in a good, happy place. I'm here to support you.
Please be careful not to let "fat woman" define you. You are so much more than that. *hugs*
Thank you both for the hugs and support.
So far this week, I've not missed working out (and I so wanted to not do it last night). And I've cut back on the food, too.
Good for you Arkie! I think losing weight is one of the hardest things to do, so much of life is centered around food. Good luck and I will be checking in frequently.
PS I finished Acheron
I'm proud of you Arkie! It takes a lot to post that about yourself. I too face a battle with eating.
I have to figure out a way that will work for me, to lose the weight and get in better shape. I want to live to see my grandkids someday.
Oh Freda you are strong and brave for posting this. We all are a contant work in progress. Sometimes you need to reach a point where you really focus on making the healthy choices. Empower yourself!
We are all here for you and love you.
My dear Arkie. *hugs and smooches*
I agree with others about starting somewhere. Even if you have to make yourself start over every single day. I know this is something that a lot of people struggle with - even if it's in different ways.
I have learned that I truly have to take things one day at a time. Even if you have to take things one hour at a time.
Congratulations on this week. On this start. On allowing yourself to open up.
I've picked up a lot of weight here of late, partly because of my bizarre schedule that leaves me exhausted, partly because of the stress I'm undergoing in moving across the country.
So I'm fat too. And I do want to deal with it. I look forward to exercising a lot more out west.
You're not alone, and you don't ever have to be.
*smooch*
*hugs* for my dear, fabulous Arkie! You are so much more than a number on a scale!!! I want you to be healthy and happier. Like Kim said - I am here for you. How can I help? Losing wight is the suckiest of sucky things - people who have never struggled with it have no idea...
I echo the fabulous, supportive sentiments that you have received here. I hope that writing here will help you with your goals. *hugs*
That delete is me. I shouldn't dis certain posters just because of my certain feelings towards them. I apologize for bringing those words to your blog.
Here is the edited version of what I said, minus my comments about him.
*hugs* I echo what the others have said.
I'm very proud that you have put this out here and that you are giving it another effort. Just remember that if and when you fall off the wagon, you don't beat yourself up to the point where you don't try again. I'm proud of you. *smooch*
Good for you, Brave Arkie! Making the start is often the hardest part. I am trying to get my dh to make a start, as I've made the start myself.. not so much easier with him.
Good luck in your journey! You can do it!
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