Ramblings of an insomniac

3 in the morning, can't sleep, so here I am.

I need more bookcases. I haven't filled up the 3 small ones, but that's just because I'm being picky about what goes in them because I won't be able to put all my books in. I dropped another $50 on books this past week. *rolls eyes at self*

Went to the doctor yesterday. He wasn't very happy with me, but said he didn't want to get on my case too much because he was concerned that I just wouldn't come back. I had gained back all the weight I had lost. I told him I had stopped taking the Wellbutrin because I had being having problems affording refilling all the meds he had me on. That won't be a problem now, or shouldn't be, because I did a debt reconsolidation loan, and will be paying around $900 less per month on my bills. (Of course, if I turn around and spend all that "extra" money on books, I will still be in the same boat.) This time, he put me on a generic version of the Wellbutrin. He also put me on a med to help lower cholesterol. $100 bucks a month for medicine. Oh well, just got to budget it in, and deal with it. My blood pressure was a bit high, but I think that could be tracked to a couple of reasons - 1)my prescription renewals had expired, so I was off my medicine for a couple of weeks, and 2)I had to deal with stupidity at the office before my appointment. He also wasn't too pleased that I hadn't had a gyno exam/pap smear for two years. I tried to weasel out of that, but he told me to just suck it up and go. So, I called my gyno and made that appointment, as well as an appointment to get a mammogram. Wow, October is going to be such a fun month! A pap smear and a mammogram in the same month? Who could ask for more fun???

I cannot stand being around one woman at work. She wears too much perfume (some Estee Lauder shit), and occasionally, the perfume doesn't quite disguise the body funk she has going. I am sort of sensitive to odors, anyway, and her perfume just burns my lungs. I feel like I'm suffocating after she's been in my office. She has also tried to make me and the others in our department look bad to our boss (this woman is the newest member of our department). In our department, we are all a bit territorial, and this woman keeps overstepping the boundaries. Medicare is MINE. She needs to step the fuck back and do her own damn job. And God forbid if you ever have to ask her a question that most people would be able to answer in 3 words or less. You better have a fucking hour to spend listening to her. Blah, blah, blah. She spends so much time making excuses as to why she can't meet deadlines, that she could have met the deadline if she had spent the time actually working! Another co-worker and I are both just bitchy enough that we keep giving this woman enough rope to hang herself. We could give her a few pointers that would help her, but you know? Some people, you just know it would be a waste of time and breath to say anything, so let them screw themselves.
One of our deadlines is that claims are supposed to be ready by 2:30 on the fifth working day. She sends an email to our supervisor and copies me, on the fourth working day at 1:00 explaining how she's not going to make the deadline because of this, that, and some other shit. I reply back that "today's not the deadline, tomorrow is, because it's the fifth working day of the month." Instead of just saying ok, or whatever, she has to go into how the "accounting calendar says it's today". Well, bitch, I don't really give a fuck what the accounting calendar says. I am the Medicare Billing Manager. I make the fucking deadline. And it's the fucking fifth working day of the month. So shut the fuck up, and do your fucking work. (I know, power trip, much?)

Sometimes, I wish I could really let my inner bitch out. I know I bitch here a lot, but I wish I could really just tell people to their face what a big bag of fucking shit I truly think they are. But no, I pretend to be polite and civil, and don't tell them that as dumb as I am, I'm still much more intelligent than they are. Hell, a fucking rock has more intelligence than some of this people. Seriously, how the hell do some people manage to find their way home each day? They seem to be unable to retain any other knowledge for more than 5 minutes. I hate having to have the same conversation over and over because people can't be bothered to remember how to do something from one time to the next and can't write down the instructions, either.
I let people annoy me too much. Sometimes, I wish I could be a hermit, and never interact with other people. Just live in a shack somewhere and never speak to anyone, ever.

Great. It's almost 4:00, and I'm not sleepy in the least. That will change in an hour. And I will go to bed at 5:00 and have a hell of a time getting up at 6:00.

And if anyone ever wants to know, celibacy sucks. Just sayin.

I am so easily amused. I ran spell check and it wanted to replace "Wellbutrin" with "elevators" and "mammogram" with "monogram". LOL. I'm on elevators to help suppress my appetite and deal with depression. I will be going to have a monogram on my breasts. Maybe I am more tired than I realized, if I'm sitting here laughing over that.