But if the thought says "I don't give a fuck what you like" or "I can't be bothered to actually try to personalize a gift", then what?
The whole thing of gift giving makes me think sometimes that I'm from another planet. I am not only on another page, I'm in a different book. Sometimes, cash or a gift certificate is an appropriate and thoughtful gift. Other times, it says "I couldn't be bothered to put forth any effort or time for a gift for you." What brought this up today was I received a late birthday present from a co-worker. It was a very cute picture frame. After I unwrapped it, the co-worker made the comment that she just tries to give presents that are things she would like to get. I know a few people with this philosophy. Others just buy up generic things after the stores have marked down the prices significantly, and just basically give a grab-bag item. A former co-worker had asked me once, what I would like for a present. I told her specifically what I would want. I received something completely different. She then made the comment that she just didn't think what I said was a good present. OK, if it's something I want, something I would use, why is that a bad present? *shakes head*
Some questions for you:
A co-worker has a big life event coming up. As a group, you and others are going to take up donations, give one gift, and have a card.
Do you have all employees sign the card, or only the ones who donated?
Same scenario as above, except you are going to give the cash instead of buying a present. Do you keep a list of who donates and how much? And then do you give that list to the giftee?
If you are going to give a gift, do you just decide what you are going to buy and then tell everyone how much they have to give? Or do you take up money, people giving whatever they feel like, and then make your decision based on how much money you have?
My thoughts:
If the gift is from "all your co-workers", then I would prefer to have everyone sign, regardless of whether or not they made a monetary donation.
I thought keeping a list of who gave, and how much they gave was tacky. I was horrified to learn that the giftee was given the list. Had I known this was going to happen, I wouldn't have given anything.
I think you let people give what they are comfortable giving, and then buy a gift based on total contributions.
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8 comments:
Back in my office days we would collect money. Depending on how much money and the occasion(usually we just did this for weddings or babies) we would give the cash amount for a wedding and gifts for a baby.
We would have those that donated sign the card but invite everyone to the "shower" for the cake and celebration. Never reveal how much each person donated. That is tacky.
Birthdays we really did not do this. Just cake or taking out to lunch...I guess depending on how close you are and how many co-workers.
I agree with all of your answers. Roomie was very upset at work a few years ago when he was informed that he was required to give twenty dollars for a baby gift for a co-worker that he did not know well and that he did not like. When he refused to give the full amount, many of his co-workers ostracized him. As much as I know how difficult he can be, I think that he was in the right on this one.
Most work gifts I remember were of the "it's the thought that counts" variety. People threw in a dollar or two, and someone who knew the recipient best picked out a gift with the money (usually $25 - $30 dollars.) Generally, everyone was invited to sign the card because the monetary donation from each was fairly nominal and it is nice for the recipient to get a card with everyone's name on it! (People who were true work friends gave their own individual gifts at the same time, making for a nice, quick lunch-time party.)
One time a co-worker's brother was murdered in a foreign country. We took up a collection so he could go there and take care of things. I think $25 was a minimum donation. Some people gave $100. We wound up giving him a check for $1700 or something like that. It made a huge difference for him. In that case, because a greater money committment was required, only the people who donated signed the card. (The actual amount of each individual donation was not revealed - that would have been tacky.)
When we were doing this, a bunch of people wanted to give us one dollar and sign the card. We said no to them. A few were ticked off by the minimum donation And? These few were the same people who were always front and center at gift-giving occasions, seeking all the credit they could get. Makes you wonder.
I got nothin to add, cause your own responses cover what I think.
Great minds think alike? Or fools seldom differ.
Definitely tacky to give a list with how much everyone donated.
First of all, how very bizarre for your coworker to disregard what you specifically asked for and got you something else because she thought it was more appropriate. WTF? Why bother asking? Sheesh.
I know, gift certificates are so easy to give, but sometimes it's just so hard to figure out what to get someone. I often don't have any imagination for gift giving.
I would also have everyone sign the card. If I am collecting money, I usually keep a list of who gave what, but that's only for me to keep track. How completely tacky for them to give the list to the person getting the gift. Ack! Who the fuck does that?
As far as how much to collect and what to get, it all depends on the occasion.
When my boss retired this year, I knew what I was going to get him and asked for donations. I barely got enough to cover half the gift but that was ok. My DH & I didn't mind footing the rest of the bill.
Usually, it's someone else in the office collecting money. I just give when they ask and sign the card.
Right now I'm glad I don't work in an office anymore.
Once I was asked to contribute money for a gift to someone who refused to talk to me. This man had been my frined, but one day he made a rude comment to me. The next day, he interrupted a conversation I was having with someone else to argue about what I was saying, so I told him I wasn't talking to him at the time. Of course, I was angry and then cooled down. I thought it wouldn't change our friendship that much, that I had just put him in his place for the moment.
After that, he refused to talk to me, no matter how hard I tried to talk to him. If he wasn't talking to me, I wasn't going to contribute to a gift for him, especially when he called me a scumbag, while I was in the room, and he was talking to someone else.
On top of that, one coworker suggested I should invite this guy to my wedding. No thanks!
About 4 years later, I walked down the street from my dentist office to go into a McDonalds. When I got into line, I saw this same guy from my old job talking to a girl, telling her that the woman they had seen walking down the street was in the restaurant, and they just had to leave, so they hightailed it out of there. LOL!
Why on earth would someone ask you what you wanted, get you something different, then tell you they didn't think what you wanted was an appropriate gift??? *boggle*
And sharing the list of who gave what to the giftee? *double boggle*
In my office (of 25 people) we have a birthday club...if you want to join you give $4 a month and when it is your birthday you 1) pick if you want to go out for lunch (and get $10 towards your lunch) or if you want a $10 gift card to the store/restaurant of your choice 2) get a card (signed by the entire office, not just those in the club) and cake and ice cream. Everyone in the office joins in the cake and ice cream, and are invited to the lunch, even if they are not in the club. The only thing that happens if you are not in the club is you do not get your lunch paid for, or a card or your name on the cake if it is your b-day month. Also, if you are in the club you do not have to give $4 during your birth month. It works really well for us.
We also have a Sunshine Fund, which is $1 a month and the funds are used for emergency things, like flowers for a death in the family, a card for special occasions, fruit baskets/flowers if someone has surgery, etc. I think everyone contributes to that.
Both the B-day Club and the Sunshine Fund seem to work for my office.
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