I don't know if I was just naive/oblivious at first, or overly suspicious later. I had received a *smile* from this guy on the dating site. I read his profile, and while it didn't wow me, he seemed nice, and I got a chuckle from some of his answers. So, a couple of *smiles* back and forth, then he emails me. I email back, and I comment on his profile. First, let me show the part of his profile I referenced:
Describe some of the most important things in your life:
chocolate
Describe your perfect day:
eating chocolate
One final thing I'd like to mention...
i like chocolate
So, I make the comment: I thought to myself, any man who seems to like chocolate as much as you do is probably someone I would like to get to know.
He replies back: hi, id love to share my chocolate with you, do you like english chocolat,
All of a sudden, I'm not so sure we're talking about chocolate. I haven't replied back, because I'm not sure we're on the same page. How do you ask someone if they're using code without sounding overly suspicious and paranoid? Or do you keep carrying on the conversation, and end up being overly naive?
*************************************************
Last week, something was said to me that really hurt my feelings. I know sometimes I can be over-sensitive, but I think this really crossed the line. My boss's husband works for the company, too. He and I go back and forth with the insults, etc all the time. I'm forever flipping him off, and telling him to "bite me". Well, we were talking about something, and he said something about how bad it is that our lives have no more meaning than I know what value codes go in form locator 43 (which is not correct, value codes go in FL 39-41, but that's neither here nor there), and he knows, well, whatever the hell it is he does. *grin* Anyway, I said thanks for telling me my life is meaningless. The next day, my boss was talking about how the other co-workers had cleared out the cubicle of the woman who just left. I said something about not getting anything. So, boss's hubby makes a crack about when I commit suicide, he wants my radio. When I commit suicide? Oh, yeah! That is sooooooo funny! NOT. I refused to speak to him the next day. Would not say a word. Would have kept it up longer, but something work related came up, and I had to talk to him. I think people that know me IRL, because I'm so sarcastic most of the time and pretty much anti-social, forget that I actually have feelings.
*******************************************
I had said something to my son about finances being pretty tight, and he suggested that I take him and we just leave the country, change our names and start over. Of course, I told him that it was out of the question, and it would be very irresponsible. But you know, sometimes the thought of just running away and starting anew is tempting. *shrugs*
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23 comments:
Maybe I'm naive, too, but I don't see any "code" in the english chocolat comment. Oh, I re-read it about 5 times and now I can see how possibly it might be code, but I'd do some further investigation. He sounds like a possibility.
{{hugs}}
People cross the line when they're trying to be funny sometimes. It was rude and insensitive. And NOT funny.
Don't go nowhere, 'k? *smooch*
Did you google english chocolat? I am scared. COuld be code, maybe not.
I agree it was not funny the comment. But if you normally have a good relationship with the guy maybe give him a pass this once? However? Sucicde? Not funny to joke about.
It is tempting to just go. Depends what your reasons are. Running away not so good but fresh start you could think about it! Where would you like to go?
Maybe he's referring to the movie Chocolat? That was a movie, wasn't it?
He said our lives, correct? I think that makes it, while not a great comment, maybe an attempt to find some common ground with you. For example, I've said something like, our life is so boring in reference to the fact that I don't party much anymore and neither does the other person in the conversation.
The reference to suicide was a tad overboard.
I want to run away! I want a camper and not stop anywhere for more than 3-4 days. I want everyone to stop depending on me for every.fucking.thing.
Sorry, that just spit itself out!
You would be really had to find in Alberta, Canada.
just saying...
Is he from England? I suppose I'm naive also because I wouldn't have thought anything about what he said.
Sometimes people say stupid things because they are just trying to be funny and they don't think. What he said was totally wrong. Try not to take it to heart. *smoooch*
Ask him to tell you about English chocolate. If he's Code talking you may be able to intuit that from his description.
Give the guy a pass. He was probably just trying to top your brilliance. Crossing the line is always a problem when people are trying to show their cleverness in a joking manner. Just calmly (and privately) tell him that suicide is a topic on which you would never joke. If he doesn't take that seriously, or can't figure out that he did cross a line - then get mad at him.
I am in awe of the english chocolat comment. Odd.
As for Not Funny Guy, I think he just crossed the line by chance, but it doesn't make it any less hurtful. You still have my postmaul, right?
I don't think it's code. I don't think.
I know what you mean, Arks. Because I am sooo sarcastic all of the time, sometimes people feel that they can say anything and that it won't affect me at all. *hugs*
I think he may be talking code, but like you, I'm not sure.
*kick's the guy for meaningless life & suicide comment* I would've responded with "Wow, I'm sensing a theme. Your life must really be sucking."
I like your son. He has the best ideas!
If Coco did not think it was code then it must be safe.
I'm not sure about the chocolat question. Maybe he just misspelled chocolate and he's English?! Dunno.
Yeah, I'd venture to say that your boss' hubby was a bit out of line. Arsehole.
*hugs* Can I run away with you and Arkieboy?
To clarify, yes, the guy lives in England. Part of the reason I started wondering is after reading the message boards on the dating site, I'm afraid the attitude of some of those horrible women is starting to rub off on me. And yes, the guy does seem to have some spelling issues. Or maybe it's not spelling, but typing issues and failure to proofread. I did reply back last night. He responded this morning, so I need to send another email.
Regarding boss's hubby - I did tell him 2 days after that I didn't really think it was funny, and we're cool.
I don't think I would run to Canada. From what several of y'all have said, I think it would be too cold for me. But I would have to go to an english-speaking country, because I've tried learning other languages, and that's just not a skill I have. So I'm thinking Ireland. (Plus, I love Irish accents, and I would be in heaven just listening to the people talk.)
{{Hugs}} Carey. I hope I've never said anything that hurt your feelings. I would never want to do that.
pffft - we do have central heat you know. You might like looking from a toasty warm room out at the snow.
If you lived in Ireland, you'd be the one with the cool, sexy accent!
I'm glad that you got things worked out with the bosses hubby.
And no, you haven't said anything that has hurt my feelings. *smooch*
Ahkie, I am not sure what to make of scenerio number one simply because you don't know him very well and Cod knows what goes through most people's minds.
As for your boss' hubby, I would just cut him a bit of slack. Sometimes we get caught up in making banter and our intent on getting a laugh get the better of us.
You are such a good mother, Arkie. Your answer to your son was perfect- and I love how behind the scenes you admit he has a point.
Hmmm...Coco is pushing "chocolate" cake with "lemon" frosting over in her blog.
What the heck does that mean?
I'm late to the party, but I just wanted to say I *heart* arkie big time.
*smoooch*
Arkie, I just sent you a PM at Circle. At least, I hope it was you. I struck out on finding you at RTVW.
I got it, Swami. I've sent the invite to you.
Once I checked out the online dating. A guy asked me if I liked chocalte. I said yet. Then he asked if I liked dark chocolate. I said yes. After talking more I found out he was asking cuz he was black. I cracked up cuz I was talking about the chocolate candy the whole time.
mocha-latte-chocolatte
mocha-latte-chocolatte
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