Friday, December 30, 2005

It's Mine!

















With many, many thanks to my parents for loaning me the money, and for finding the car! It's a 99 Malibu, and I LOVE it! It takes a little getting used to, after driving that Tempo for about 10 years. The windshield is set a little differently, so it kind of messes with my vision, as far as other road traffic.

For dragonflies: My floormats and steering wheel cover. I also have the matching seat covers.

Wednesday, December 28, 2005

Dammit!

I don't want to go to work today! I want to stay home and play!!!

Well, enough *pouting*... I must be leaving now, or I will be dreadfully late!

Sunday, December 25, 2005

Merry Christmas!

Saturday, December 24, 2005

Quizzes

Your New Year's Resolutions

1) Get a pet iguana

2) Eat more escargot

3) Travel to Italy

4) Study marine biology

5) Get in shape with ballet


You Christmas Stocking Will Be Filled with Money

You've either been really really good this year...
Or Santa is trying to pay you off!


You Are a Christmas Sweater!

Over the top, colorful, and totally flashy.
You're not afraid to be a little tacky.


You Are a Traditional Christmas Tree

For a good Christmas, you don't have to re-invent the wheel.
You already have traditions, foods, and special things you bring out every year.


You Were Nice This Year!

You're an uber-perfect person who is on the top of Santa's list.
You probably didn't even *think* any naughty thoughts this year.
Unless you're a Mormon, you've probably been a little too good.
Is that extra candy cane worth being a sweetheart for 365 days straight?


Your Christmas is Most Like: The Muppet Christmas Carol

You tend to reflect on Christmas past, present, and future...
And you also do a little singing.

Friday, December 23, 2005

So many things racing around

in my head, I don't know if I will be able to get them all out and on the blog. But first...

Hey, MM! Why didn't you tell us that a tell-all book had been written about you?

Saturday, December 17, 2005

from the office Christmas party last night

Me

















J & M (two of the women in my department) & me


















M, A (my boss), and me

Friday, December 16, 2005

*Looks around*

Ok, you asked for it....




*flash*
















And if you were not able to keep yourself from vomiting, PLEASE, I request that you clean up after yourself. I have a horribly weak stomach, and well, vomit makes me vomit.

Thursday, December 15, 2005

Just to clear things up...

This?



















Is why nekkid pics of me would be a bad idea.

Now, if I still looked like I did when I was 20:





















It would still be a bad idea.

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

You've got mail!

Last Thursday when I pulled up in my driveway, I could see a package sitting on my porch. As soon as I got in the door, and dropped my purse, I ripped into it! Yay! I had chocolate chip-banana bread! And let me tell you, IT.WAS.DELICIOUS! I had considered maybe taking some of it in to the office and sharing, but instead, I ate it all. I mean, not all of it on Thursday - it did last through the weekend! I enjoyed it so much! Thank you, thank you, HD!

Then yesterday, I pull up and I have another package! Woo Hoo! This was from Chris (Woe)! She sent me some cookbooks! I lvoe them! Thank you so much, Chris! I can't wait to try some of those soup recipes!

I love getting mail. At least when it isn't requests for my money and demands for my money. *grin*

Sunday, December 11, 2005

For you, and you know who you are

I know, you're probably all wishing I hadn't taken the video down, but I felt it was time. *grin*

Saturday, December 10, 2005

weekend quizzes

You Are Dancer

Carefree and fun, you always find reasons to do a happy dance.

Why You're Naughty: That dark stint you had as Santa's private dancer.

Why You're Nice: You're friendly. Very friendly.





Your 2005 Song Is



Beverly Hills by Weezer



"My automobile is a piece of crap

My fashion sense is a little whack

And my friends are just as screwy as me"



You breezed through 2005 in your own funky style!






You Have a Melancholic Temperament



Introspective and reflective, you think about everything and anything.

You are a soft-hearted daydreamer. You long for your ideal life.

You love silence and solitude. Everyday life is usually too chaotic for you.



Given enough time alone, it's easy for you to find inner peace.

You tend to be spiritual, having found your own meaning of life.

Wise and patient, you can help people through difficult times.



At your worst, you brood and sulk. Your negative thoughts can trap you.

You are reserved and withdrawn. This makes it hard to connect to others.

You tend to over think small things, making decisions difficult.



fried chicken
You taste like chicken. Your succulent thighs,
legs, wings, and breasts melt in the mouth.
Your crunchy outer coating barely hides the
juiciness within.


How do you taste?
brought to you by Quizilla

Aprhodite Venus
You are most like Psyche, the princess who married
Cupid, the god of love. Though not a goddess,
she symbolizes the soul. Her mother-in-law,
Aphrodite/Venus doesn't like Psyche and tries
to ruin the marriage, but fails. Psyche made a
mistake and let her curiosity get the better of
her, but she proved her devotion to Cupid, who
loved her, even though her mistake injured him.
Cupid and Psyche represent the heart and soul
coming together.


What Greek/Roman Goddess are you? With anime pictures and detailed explanations.
brought to you by Quizilla

I have updated the link... it should work now...

update

The car didn't pan out. When my parents went to look again, they found that the horn didn't work and the front seat belts had been removed. Also, my mom noticed that the bolts and metal where the seat is fastened to the floorboard had a few rust spots. The carpet looked very very clean (like it had been replaced) but the seats had a lot of cigarette burns in it. There was a spot on the ground underneath the car that made my dad think it might have an oil leak. The engine was extremely clean, though. There were a few other things, so they decided that it would probably not be a good idea to get that car. My dad wanted to know if I wanted to borrow money to get my car fixed. *shakes head* I just can't see putting any more money into this car. I have had the exhaust thingy worked on (I think) about 10 or 11 times since I've had the car. I don't understand why one thing keeps messing up like that, but it's just time to move on.

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

my mind


Sometimes I feel like that *points up* is the way my brain is. Things just slip right out through all the holes. I had a thought of something I wanted to say earlier tonight. It wouldn't have been an entire blog posting. More like just an odds and ends type of post - I was just going to save it until I had a few things like that to post. Now? I cannot remember what the heck I was going to say.

*******************************************************************************

My parents are absolutely the best. Not only did they let Clint move in with them when he was so unhappy living here in Tennessee, not only did they loan me money when I needed it for the attorney and Clint's dad had to buy his then-GF a car instead of helping with the attorney's fees, not only are they always there for me when I need them, but they are going to maybe buy me a car, and let me pay them back when I can. It's a 94 Escort, and the guy is asking $1600 for it. My dad saw it when they were out today, and is going to go back tomorrow to talk to the man selling it, and to look at it closer. If it looks like it will be a good car, he' s going to buy it for me. I had said that I would NEVER have another Ford after the one I currently have (91 Tempo), but like I told my mom - I don't care what kind of car, I don't care what it looks like, just as long as it is reliable.

I feel bad, though, that here I am, 39 years old, and still having to have my parents help me out so much. What really makes it bad, is they are both retired, and living on Social Security. (Actually, I'm not completely sure if my Mom is drawing her SS yet.) I make a fairly decent salary, and I should be helping them instead. I feel like such a lowlife sometimes.

Death, and a little bit of religion

This is one of those posts that I'm not sure why I feel the need to share this. Maybe I want to know if I'm truly some kind of pyschopath or someone who has no deep emotions. But it's how I feel. This is me, like it or not.

Sometimes, I feel like I am the only person who thinks and feels the way I do about some things. I have never come across anyone who expresses the same view about death as I do.

When people find out someone has cancer or some other fatal disease, and go on about it being a death sentence, I just don't feel the same. I mean, the person was dying anyway. We are all dying from the moment our life begins. I don't know why people let death surprise them. You have to know it's going to happen anyway.

I don't cry when people die, either. Sometimes I think I must be an iceberg inside. But I just don't have tears in that instance, normally. When I was younger, I would think of other things to make me cry at a relative's funeral. People assume you must not care if you don't cry. One thing I don't understand is when people who are Christian talk about how tragic it is when someone else (who they say is Christian) dies. If they are a Christian, then based on the Christian beliefs, aren't they now in heaven? How can that be tragic?

Years ago, when I was still working at the nursing home in Sheridan, there had been a horrible car wreck, and a man was killed. The receptionist and the activity director were talking about how sad it was, and the AD says, "and for it to happen to a good Christian man!" OK, back on Christian beliefs... a Christian dies and goes to heaven. A non-Christian goes to hell. So, thinking that it's worse that a Christian died instead of a non-saved person? Isn't that a rather non-Christian view point? I mean, wouldn't it be better for someone to have the chance to become a Christian instead of dying and burning in hell forever, if that is your personal beliefs of what happens? I had other differences with the activity director and her judgment of how others were good Christians or not. At Christmas time, several of the churches would ask to adopt some of the residents to make sure they received presents, etc, and weren't forgotten. One of the larger churches had not contacted her to do this that year, and she was making disparaging remarks about how "they call themselves Christians". I made the observation that perhaps God was leading them to help some of his other children. Heh. She didn't speak to me again for a couple of days.

I believe that death does not suddenly change the way a person was while alive. If they were an asshole while living, they do not become a saint in my eyes just because they are dead.

I find it hard to get upset over the deaths of people I either don't know, or really have no attachment to. I also find it suspect when others become so distraught in these cases. (I know, rather judgmental on my part - but then, they are also judging me in the same instance, and declaring me to be a cold-hearted non-feeling bitch.)
Two examples: When I worked as a nurse's aide back in '87, there was this one woman who would be so devastated everytime one of the residents passed away, that she couldn't finish her shift and would go home. Because she cared soooo much about the residents. Even the ones who had just entered the facility 3 days before, and that she hadn't even worked with before they passed. I always thought if she cared so much, why didn't she suck it up, and take care of the other residents that still needed her? I thought it was really very selfish on her part. I also couldn't believe that she got away with it all the time.
Second example: When working in the regional office, there was this one woman in the operations side that no one in the financial department liked. Everyone despised this woman. A couple of us had met her husband on one occasion, but the rest of us never did. He died in a car wreck. That day, most of the operations people were out of the office, and there was only five or six of us in the office. Three of them were so overcome and distraught about the death of this man that they didn't know, that they had to leave work immediately. My supervisor had asked if I needed to go home. I rather rudely asked why would I? I'm sorry, it was sad, it was tragic, but I didn't even know the man. Why would I be unable to work? *shrugs*

Sunday, December 04, 2005

My OCD-ness

I had made a comment about being OCD in Seana's blog when I offered to loan her some books. I really get anal about my books. Actually, it's anything that comes in a set or series. I cannot stand when a glass or plate from a set gets broke. It bothers me to the point that I will go buy another set, and never use the incomplete set again. For a while, I was this way about my flatware, too. I would actually count the spoons and forks when putting them away after washing them. If one was missing, I would not do anything else until I found the missing item.
When I find an author or recording artist that I enjoy, I usually end up buying all of their works. Even if some are not to my taste. And in the case of books, they all have to be either hard cover or paperback copies. Right now, I have the complete works of Carol O'Connell, and it is driving me crazy that my copy of her latest book is hard cover, and the rest are paperback. I couldn't wait to read the book until they released the paperback version. It is out in paperback now, and I will be buying it. Also, the second most recent one, I have in both paperback and hard cover. I will be giving away the two hard cover copies. Otherwise, I will be tempted to get all of her novels in the hard cover. It really bothers me that my copies of the first two Harry Potter novels are paperback and the rest are hard cover.

I try to keep my paperbacks sorted by genre and alphabetically by author, then by release date. I have run out of room where I store them, and now they are all stacked up in no kind of order. This bugs me. I think I have found some shelving solution at Wal-Mart (that's right, I shop at Wal-Mart, and I am not ashamed!). I can't decide if I want to buy the item I found, because while it will work, it's not really what I want. So, do I spend the money on this, or wait until I find and can afford, what I really want? (Which is a bookcase or two - preferably a rustic, southwestern look to them.)

Way back, when I was a teenager and until shortly after I got married, I had a massive collection of albums. I kept them sorted by genre, artist and release date, too. I also maintained a list. I didn't have a computer back then, so I had to use a manual typewriter to keep this list. So, every so often I would have to re-type it. And then if I found that I omitted one record, or didn't have it in the right location on the list, I would start all over.

It manifests itself when I do laundry or dishes, too. It really makes me crazy for me to spend my time cleaning, getting all the dishes done, and then someone come in and get a glass and get a drink. When I'm doing laundry, I will go put on my nightclothes, so I can wash whatever I was wearing, so that ALL the clothes are clean. I think that's part of why I don't clean my house that often, because if it can't be 100% spotless, it bugs me. It's either all or nothing. If I'm going to clean, then everything has to be clean. Otherwise, I won't do any.

Once I start organizing something, it all has to be just so. When I worked in medical records at the nursing home, all the papers had to be lined up just so in the file. They had to be straight, and you had to be able to see the label of each file.

One big post or several little ones?

I have had several ideas for blog posts this past week, and am not sure if I should just throw them all into one post, or make several posts. And then, do I post them all at once, or spread them out? Plus, I'm not really sure about posting a couple of them. One of them, I'm n0t truly sure of my motivation in posting it. Do I just want to express my thoughts on this subject, do I want to start a dialogue on it, do I want to know if others feel this way, or is it an attempt to push people away? The second one, I'm afraid might hurt someone's feelings. I had posted a reply on someone else's blog, and then wished I hadn't, because in all truthfulness, I really feel quite strongly about NOT commenting on that type of thing.

Time with Arkieboy

If you disregard the reason why Arkieboy and I were together this week, I have to say that this was a very good time. My son is becoming a man. I look at him, and I wonder when did this happen? When did my sweet darling baby start growing up on me? He is almost as tall as me now. I think I may still have 1/2 to 1-inch on him still, but it won't be long before he is taller than me.

About 2-3 months ago, Clint started going to church, and got saved. I'm very happy for him. I've often felt like I was failing as his parent, in that I don't go to church at all anymore, and you could probably count on one hand how many times I took him to church. So I am very glad that he made the decision on his own to attend church. But you know, the newly religious can be quite fervent in their desire to share their new knowledge with you. Clint picked up my bible out of the bookcase, and asked me when was the last time I read it. I honestly answered that I had no idea. My son then proceeded to give me a brief lecture on how I needed to read my bible daily. Based on what I was taught as a Christian, I know he is right, but I'm just not at that place in my life right now. So, I am having to carefully walk the tightrope and not discourage him, because I want him to live a good life, and I do think that having God in your life is important. But I also don't want to be lectured and preached to on a regular basis. We listened to Christian music almost all week.

Clint worked on cleaning out my pantry for me. He was rummaging through it, and asked me if I wanted some hot cocoa. Then he says, ewww! this has an expiration date of (something, something) 2003! So I told him to throw it away. He then started going through a lot of the stuff in there. The oldest item he found (that had a date, anyway) was a bottle of salad dressing that had a best if used by date of 2001. Clint asked if he should throw this stuff away or if I wanted to donate it to a food bank. My view on this is if I won't eat it because I'm concerned it wouldn't be safe, then how could I expect someone else to eat it? Just because a person may need some assistance, doesn't mean they should be expected to take someone's garbage. Clint threw away a tall kitchen-size bag of food. He only worked on one or two of the shelves. I guess I need to finish the job.

I gave Clint a shave while he was up here. He shaves, but doesn't do a very good job of it on his neck. I was telling him he needed to do that, and asked if he wanted me to shave him. His reply was that I don't know how to shave somebody. As I told him, I worked as a nurse's aide in the nursing home for 2 years. So, I did have some experience in shaving men. After the shave, I asked how it felt, and he said it was better than he ever did. I tried to get him to say, "Mom, you're right", but that was just a losing battle. *grin*

I had been putting off going to see the Harry Potter movie, because I was pretty sure that Clint would want to see it. He wanted to see Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Watch, and the Wardrobe instead. However, that movie doesn't open here until the 9th. He decided he wanted to see First Descent, a documentary on snowboarding. I said something about maybe I would go see something else then. He said that was ok, but I could tell by the look in his eyes that he really wanted me to watch the movie with him. I realized that we don't spend enough time with each other, and it was selfish of me to want to go see something else instead of going to the movie with him. I know we wouldn't be able to talk during the movie, but at least we would be spending time with each other. Actually we were able to talk during the movie, because there were only two other people in the theater. Clint and I were at the very top row, and the other two people were down at the bottom of the theater, so we would whisper back and forth about some of the interesting things. The movie wasn't that bad. I wouldn't actually recommend it to anyone, unless they were really into snowboarding and the top names of snowboarding, but it was still cool.

I would dearly love to know what Clint said during his visit with the doctor Friday. After she finished with him, she had me come back for a minute. She made a comment about how Clint's father has not been a very good influence on him, and that Clint has been exposed to things he shouldn't have been. Clint never says a lot about what he and his dad do when they're together, and I try not to push it. He will sometimes just let things out if I just listen, and don't actually question him. I have known that his dad is not a good influence based on some of the advice he has given Clint over the years, but I didn't know he was such a dumbass that I needed to worry about him exposing Clint to whatever he has exposed him to (I'm guessing girly magazines, and probably some porn. Definitely has told him things that he shouldn't.) Some of the fine advice he has given Clint in the past has included: when Clint was having trouble with a kid picking on him in the 3rd grade by knocking his books out of his hands, etc, his dad told him to ask him to stop once, and then if he does it again, "just take him out". I had to have a meeting with the after-school care program director because of that one. Then, when Clint got into this trouble, his dad told him to tell the judge the only reason he admitted to the detectives that he did it, was because he was scared and confused and just told them what he thought they wanted to hear so he could go home. Thankfully, Clint passed that little tidbit on to me and my mom, so I could squash that before Clint appeared before the judge.

Thursday, December 01, 2005

update


We had the original judge, not the crabby panties judge from the last time! We were in and out in minutes. I have to come back for an administrative review (to see what the doctor has recommended, etc) in January, but Clint doesn't have to come to that one.

Thank you all for all the positive thoughts and vibes and prayers. I love you all!