I managed to get Jessica and Joseph together! Damn, I'm good.
Right now, I am just one big puddle of goo. Joseph sent me an email, thanking me, and it was so beautiful (the sentiment he expressed), that I just wanted to cry. I told Jessica it's one thing for a man to tell you he loves you, and how important you are to him, but for him to tell other people about it, WOW.
*sigh* ain't love grand...
Thursday, March 31, 2005
Sunday, March 20, 2005
When did I become the source for advice for the lovelorn?
I find this very strange.
My friend, J, has met a couple of guys online at a game website. She's really into both of them. She keeps asking me for advice. She convinced me to come to the website to play cards with her, and has "introduced" me to her guys. Now, in addition to J asking me for advice on the relationships, and what should she do, one of the guys has started talking to me, wanting my advice and opinion on this relationship.
What really makes this whole thing bizarre, is they are asking someone who hasn't been in a relationship of any type for almost 13 years. And the last relationship I was in, was not a very good one. So, WHY would anyone take my advice?
It really sucks. J is my friend, and I feel that my first loyalty should be to her. But I really feel bad for the guy who is asking me for help. She thinks he's a total player, and doesn't trust him. But she's the one who has lied to him already, and keeps playing head games with him. She says she really loves this one, but feels more comfortable with the other. I hate that she is hurting Joseph. And she is hurting him. She doesn't think she is, but I know what he tells me.
UGH!!!!
Even more bizarre to me is I am actually taking the man's side in this. How the hell did that happen??? I never take the man's side. And yet, in this instance, I just would like to smack Jessica, and tell her to either commit to Joseph, or let him go. He doesn't deserve to be treated like this. No one deserves to be treated like this. To have someone just toy with you, and keep you on a string, is just horrible.
My friend, J, has met a couple of guys online at a game website. She's really into both of them. She keeps asking me for advice. She convinced me to come to the website to play cards with her, and has "introduced" me to her guys. Now, in addition to J asking me for advice on the relationships, and what should she do, one of the guys has started talking to me, wanting my advice and opinion on this relationship.
What really makes this whole thing bizarre, is they are asking someone who hasn't been in a relationship of any type for almost 13 years. And the last relationship I was in, was not a very good one. So, WHY would anyone take my advice?
It really sucks. J is my friend, and I feel that my first loyalty should be to her. But I really feel bad for the guy who is asking me for help. She thinks he's a total player, and doesn't trust him. But she's the one who has lied to him already, and keeps playing head games with him. She says she really loves this one, but feels more comfortable with the other. I hate that she is hurting Joseph. And she is hurting him. She doesn't think she is, but I know what he tells me.
UGH!!!!
Even more bizarre to me is I am actually taking the man's side in this. How the hell did that happen??? I never take the man's side. And yet, in this instance, I just would like to smack Jessica, and tell her to either commit to Joseph, or let him go. He doesn't deserve to be treated like this. No one deserves to be treated like this. To have someone just toy with you, and keep you on a string, is just horrible.
Sunday, March 13, 2005
What is it that brings people together?
I see other people with their close, intimate friendships, and I wonder how do you get there? What is it that makes people care about each other? And more importantly, why don't I have it? Yes, I know people care about me, but I feel it's always more of the transient type friendship. If tomorrow I dropped off the face of the earth, it would be no big deal. I might be missed for a few days, but then forgotten. What is it about me that keeps me from having deeper relationships?
I see other people with their close, intimate friendships, and I wonder how do you get there? What is it that makes people care about each other? And more importantly, why don't I have it? Yes, I know people care about me, but I feel it's always more of the transient type friendship. If tomorrow I dropped off the face of the earth, it would be no big deal. I might be missed for a few days, but then forgotten. What is it about me that keeps me from having deeper relationships?
Saturday, March 12, 2005
Now what am I going to do Friday nights?
Well, our bowling season is over. Surprisingly enough, our team did not end up in last place. Next to last, yeah, but NOT last.
For your amusement, here is documented proof that I have to be the world's worst bowler. Yep, these really are my bowling scores.
Week 1... 62 79 96
Week 2... 111 60 78
Week 3... 73 65 87
Week 4... 60 89 52
Week 5... 55 73 62
Week 6... 99 89 75
Week 7 - I was sick, and didn't bowl
Week 8... 74 89 89
Week 9... 109 82 73
Week 10... 76 70 62
So very, very sad, huh?
For your amusement, here is documented proof that I have to be the world's worst bowler. Yep, these really are my bowling scores.
Week 1... 62 79 96
Week 2... 111 60 78
Week 3... 73 65 87
Week 4... 60 89 52
Week 5... 55 73 62
Week 6... 99 89 75
Week 7 - I was sick, and didn't bowl
Week 8... 74 89 89
Week 9... 109 82 73
Week 10... 76 70 62
So very, very sad, huh?
Thursday, March 10, 2005
Unmotivated
I have the perfect job. This job was tailor made for me. Hell, I even helped create the position, and come up with the job duties. I work for a wonderful company that has really taken care of me. I make pretty decent money, and have good benefits, and 4 weeks of paid vacation a year. So, why am I screwing around and risking losing this job? I go in the office every day, and allow myself to get further behind in my tasks. I am better than this, so why the hell don't I act it?
I love my job. I know most people would think working with Medicare billing would be just one big bore, and to be honest, sometimes it is. But there's such a kick in being able to take a claim that no one else seems to be able to get processed, and BAM! In two weeks, we have our money because of ME. I love seeing the past due amounts get smaller and smaller. I love the challenge of having to play their "game", and winning.
So, how do you motivate yourself, when you have almost let something get out of hand. I am so far behind, that sometimes I am so overwhelmed that I can't even decide where to start.
I love my job. I know most people would think working with Medicare billing would be just one big bore, and to be honest, sometimes it is. But there's such a kick in being able to take a claim that no one else seems to be able to get processed, and BAM! In two weeks, we have our money because of ME. I love seeing the past due amounts get smaller and smaller. I love the challenge of having to play their "game", and winning.
So, how do you motivate yourself, when you have almost let something get out of hand. I am so far behind, that sometimes I am so overwhelmed that I can't even decide where to start.
Saturday, March 05, 2005
No. Such an easy word to say, right? Come on, say it with me. No. That was easy, wasn't it? So why can't I ever say it when that's what I mean? I'm thinking No, but Yes comes out of my mouth. Ugh!
Because of this inability to say such a simple word (say it with me again, Noooo), I have found myself once again agreeing to give up my Sunday afternoons for a few months to keep score for our company's softball team. I think this is going to be my fourth year to be the scorekeeper. After the first year, I said I wasn't going to do that anymore because I really didn't like having to make the committment for every week for so long. And each time, the guy heading it up comes to my office, asks if I will do it again, and before I know it, this phrase has come out of my mouth: "Sure, I'd be glad to!" Last year, they even roped me into playing a game. Again, I wanted to say "No", but they were going to have to forfeit the game because they wouldn't have enough players. And considering some of the players had drove over an hour just to play, I agreed to do it. Anyone who knows me, knows that I am - shall we say? - out of shape. So out of shape, that I can't run very fast at all. I could get a hit, but was always thrown out at first. Plus, I can't catch, and they played me as catcher. I don't want to get hit by the ball, so I usually move out of the way. Not a good way to play if you're the catcher. Oh yeah, and I can't really throw the ball either. I have horrible aim. Always have had.
So, now I'm off to practice saying No. Maybe I will be able to actually put it to use the next time someone asks me to do something I really don't want to do. Actually, I have to go to the office for a little while. One of the tech guys asked me if I could come in over the weekend to download and e-mail to him the files that I do every Monday morning because he wants to take care of them Sunday night. Again, "Sure, not a problem!"
No. Non. Nein. Nyet. não. Geen. 不. Ingen. la. So many ways to say it, so maybe I can start to use one of them.
Because of this inability to say such a simple word (say it with me again, Noooo), I have found myself once again agreeing to give up my Sunday afternoons for a few months to keep score for our company's softball team. I think this is going to be my fourth year to be the scorekeeper. After the first year, I said I wasn't going to do that anymore because I really didn't like having to make the committment for every week for so long. And each time, the guy heading it up comes to my office, asks if I will do it again, and before I know it, this phrase has come out of my mouth: "Sure, I'd be glad to!" Last year, they even roped me into playing a game. Again, I wanted to say "No", but they were going to have to forfeit the game because they wouldn't have enough players. And considering some of the players had drove over an hour just to play, I agreed to do it. Anyone who knows me, knows that I am - shall we say? - out of shape. So out of shape, that I can't run very fast at all. I could get a hit, but was always thrown out at first. Plus, I can't catch, and they played me as catcher. I don't want to get hit by the ball, so I usually move out of the way. Not a good way to play if you're the catcher. Oh yeah, and I can't really throw the ball either. I have horrible aim. Always have had.
So, now I'm off to practice saying No. Maybe I will be able to actually put it to use the next time someone asks me to do something I really don't want to do. Actually, I have to go to the office for a little while. One of the tech guys asked me if I could come in over the weekend to download and e-mail to him the files that I do every Monday morning because he wants to take care of them Sunday night. Again, "Sure, not a problem!"
No. Non. Nein. Nyet. não. Geen. 不. Ingen. la. So many ways to say it, so maybe I can start to use one of them.
